Scheduling a massage is a significant commitment for me; it only happens about twice a year. Carving out time for myself is a challenge. I often hold back, waiting for the “perfect” moment: a low-stress period, a time when projects are completed, and everything seems to be in order. I have conditioned myself to believe that I deserve this small indulgence only when life aligns perfectly with my expectations. However, I’ve come to realize that the circumstances are seldom ideal. There’s always something weighing on my mind.
That stress often manifests physically, and I think we all have our own telltale signs of stress. My massage therapists may change, but they consistently identify “my knot”—located in my upper back, right shoulder—every single time. Once they discover it, I can’t help but label it for them: “Oh, that’s just my ‘You Haven’t Finished That Work Project’ knot” or “Here’s my ‘You’re Failing As A Parent’ knot.” Sometimes, it’s even my “You’ve Been Eating Junk” knot.
No matter what I call it, this knot is no ally. My massage therapists approach it with a mission to break it apart, treating it like an adversary. But can we ever truly find relief from that persistent knot, that constant reminder of life’s pressures? The answer seems to be no. The manipulation often brings pain, feeling like pressure on a bruise or an open wound.
And then comes that moment after the session when the therapist says, “I’ll be right outside while you get dressed. Take your time.” Wouldn’t it be more honest if she said, “As you get dressed, remember all the stressors you’ve tried to forget for the last hour”? If only I could keep that mental clutter at bay a little longer.
So, how do I confront these “knots” in my life without the luxury of a massage therapist at my disposal? Do I procrastinate to dodge them? Absolutely. Do I wish them away? Guilty as charged. Do I sometimes tackle them before they escalate into bigger issues? Occasionally, but not with the same fervor as my massage therapist.
It dawns on me that it’s not just massages I shy away from, thinking I must have everything sorted to deserve them. I also neglect leisurely reading, binge-watching new shows, and even writing for pleasure once the kids are in bed. This is not okay. This needs to change. Somewhere along the line, I learned that I can only treat myself with kindness when everything is in perfect harmony. What a misconception! Life is inherently chaotic, and stressors will always be present.
I aspire to be gentler with myself, to approach tasks with a proactive mindset, and to not be so easily affected by life’s ups and downs. If I dig deep, I can unearth valuable advice that I need to acknowledge:
- Knots will always exist. Life isn’t simple or perfect, and wishing them away is futile.
- True perseverance means gracefully coexisting with my knots. Sometimes, they stick around, and I must learn to set aside the burdens to make way for joy.
- And above all, what could be more stress-relieving than doing something kind for myself? It seems so obvious, doesn’t it?
If a dedicated massage therapist is willing to tackle my knots, then surely I can learn to confront them myself—before they take a toll on my shoulders.
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In summary, taking time for myself is essential, but I often feel I must wait for life to be perfect before doing so. I need to learn to coexist with stress and make time for self-care regardless of circumstances.