Recently, I went out for dinner with a few friends, and they couldn’t stop talking about the show “White Lotus.” They insisted it was a must-watch, and I felt the pressure to dive into it. They also mentioned that I should check out “Mare of Easttown” once I finished that.
Promising to start those shows that night, I returned home with the intention to explore new narratives. However, when I turned on the TV and browsed through the options, I gravitated toward a series my partner and I had watched from the very first episode. This show had been a constant presence, even as his illness progressed and eventually took him away, leaving me to finish it alone. Since his passing, I’ve revisited this show more times than I care to admit.
It wasn’t until a fellow widow in my support group mentioned she had started re-watching a sitcom that I recognized a deeper reason behind my viewing habits. It dawned on me that my preference for familiar shows was not merely a sign of laziness or a lack of desire to explore new content; it was, in fact, a source of nostalgia and comfort. In a world that feels chaotic, especially as a solo parent during a pandemic, re-watching these shows acts as a time machine, transporting me back to moments of joy and connection.
The Comfort of Nostalgia
Nostalgia, defined by Merriam-Webster as a state of homesickness, is more than just a longing for the past. It encapsulates feelings of safety and belonging. For a long time, my sense of home resided with my partner. After his passing, that sense of home vanished, but immersing myself in our favorite shows provides a temporary escape from that loss.
Seeking Comfort in Familiarity
I’ve learned I’m not alone in finding solace in re-watching the same shows. Experts like psychologist Pamela Rutledge explain that revisiting familiar entertainment can instill a sense of order and safety, which is especially comforting after experiencing a loss. For a brief period, I can forget the uncertainty of life and feel secure in the predictable outcomes of my favorite sitcoms.
The Predictability Factor
When I first watched these shows, they were fresh and new. Now, after multiple viewings, I know every twist and turn, every laugh and tear. This familiarity is a welcome relief amid the unpredictability of daily life, especially as I navigate the complexities of parenting and a world filled with crises. It’s like muting the overwhelming noise of my responsibilities, if only for a little while.
Navigating Grief with Familiarity
Grief has significantly impacted my ability to engage with new forms of entertainment. While I still struggle to delve into new books or shows, returning to old favorites feels like meeting up with an old friend. Although I recognize that dwelling too much in the past isn’t healthy, this act of re-watching helps me connect with a version of myself that I cherished. For a moment, I can relive the happiness I felt, even if it’s just through the lens of nostalgia.
I may eventually watch “White Lotus” and “Mare of Easttown.” However, in the throes of solo parenting and navigating life after loss, I find comfort in the familiar, providing me with a sense of home and certainty.
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In summary, re-watching familiar shows offers me a comforting refuge from the uncertainties of life after loss. It allows me to reconnect with a sense of home, stability, and the joyful moments I once cherished.