In my 40s, I made the leap to explore a vibrator for the first time. For the first four decades of my life, sex toys never really crossed my mind. I was perfectly capable of reaching orgasm, both on my own and with my partner, so why would I need one? Honestly, the thought of introducing an inanimate object into my intimate moments felt rather strange. If I wanted something cold and foreign inside me, I could just visit my gynecologist—no thanks!
I can imagine those of you who regularly enjoy sex toys thinking I’m out of my mind. But that was my mindset. After years of fulfilling sexual experiences without toys, the idea of adding something new felt unnecessary and somewhat bothersome. I often thought, “I’m too old for that.”
Ironically, it was this very notion that prompted me to finally give it a try. As I age, I find myself becoming more set in my routines, reluctant to embrace new experiences. I didn’t want to be the kind of middle-aged woman who shies away from trying new things—especially when it comes to pleasure.
Welcoming New Companions
So, shortly after turning 41, I decided to welcome a few new companions into my life, courtesy of some generous gifts for review. The first was the Sona by Lelo, a clitoral stimulator that doubles as a mini back massager.
Next, I had the Soraya, also from Lelo, a “rabbit vibrator” designed to stimulate both the clitoris and the G-spot.
Lastly, there was the Crescendo, a versatile vibrator that can take on various shapes, suitable for solo play or with a partner, and can target the clitoris, vagina, and G-spot simultaneously when shaped correctly.
Overcoming Initial Hesitations
I’ll be honest; it took me quite a while to even remove them from their packaging. Technology intimidates me, and I felt overwhelmed at the thought of charging them and connecting to my phone (which is an option with the Crescendo). Plus, I was concerned about where to charge them without my curious kids discovering them. It was all a bit stressful and definitely not sexy.
In the end, my husband ended up taking care of the charging, which felt a little ironic and, dare I say, outdated. But if I was going to try these toys, I needed to get them ready.
First Impressions
The first one I tested was the Sona, the clitoral stimulator, and I tried it with my husband. While it was fun to experiment, I found it irritating after a few minutes. The pressure felt too light or too intense, despite the numerous settings. Even when I used it alone, I found my own hands to be far more satisfying. Relaxation is essential for a good orgasm, and I just couldn’t achieve that with the Sona.
I had a similar experience with the Crescendo. While it was decent for vaginal stimulation, it didn’t offer the fullness I preferred. I could see it being useful if you’re more interested in localized stimulation rather than full penetration, but it didn’t excite me.
A Surprising Success
You might think I’m a complete failure at using sex toys, but I actually found more success with the Soraya! After using it during masturbation a couple of times, I found it to be quite enjoyable. I did have to push the clitoral stimulator aside, which was mildly inconvenient, but overall, the G-spot stimulator hit the right spot and provided the fullness I craved. Since I often wish for more vaginal stimulation during solo play, this toy delivered.
Will I use it again? Perhaps. As a busy working mom, I rarely get the chance to indulge in self-pleasure, and I’m not sure I’ll remember to charge it. Cleaning it afterward was relatively easy, but even that felt like a small chore.
Nevertheless, I do like the Soraya. It even made an appearance in one of my recent dreams, which I thought was delightful. Maybe I’m beginning to warm up to the idea of using a vibrator, and perhaps it will transition from being a cold object to a more familiar companion—just as intended.
Final Thoughts
In summary, while my experience wasn’t a home run, it was nonetheless positive. I realized that discovering the right sex toy can involve some trial and error, and preferences vary widely among individuals. I initially assumed I’d gravitate toward clitoral stimulators, like many of my friends, but I found the vaginal options more appealing. Most importantly, I learned that exploring new experiences—even those involving intimate objects—is essential for someone like me, who might be considered “old.”
For more insights into home insemination and related topics, check out resources like Facts About Fertility and Samantha’s IVF Journey. Additionally, if you’re interested in exploring home insemination kits, consider reading about the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit.