In reflecting on my journey as a parent, I recently celebrated my daughter’s fifth birthday. Five years have flown by, and while I don’t consider myself a parenting expert, I have certainly moved beyond the initial stages of motherhood. Interestingly, I didn’t commemorate this milestone on social media. Life was hectic, and I simply overlooked it. However, I am certain I would have remembered had it been my son with Down syndrome.
This isn’t a self-critical narrative, but rather an exploration of why I tend to share more about my son compared to his siblings who do not have an extra 21st chromosome. The reality is, there are individuals who believe my son shouldn’t be here.
When people learn that I was aware of my son’s diagnosis before his birth, it often leads to an uncomfortable silence. On one occasion, a stranger remarked that it was unfortunate I discovered this mid-pregnancy, implying it complicated a decision I would have to make. When my son and I go out, I sometimes catch people looking at him with pity, viewing his life as diminished.
I understand this perspective; I felt similarly when we first received the diagnosis. Initially, I viewed that additional chromosome as a loss rather than a unique addition to our family. Consequently, I find myself sharing more about my son than my other children. This doesn’t imply he holds more significance in my heart; instead, it stems from a desire to counter the misconception that his life is less valuable.
It’s essential to clarify that while my posts may focus on my son with Down syndrome, it doesn’t diminish my love for my daughter, who just turned five. She embodies the kind of child that every parent hopes for—full of joy, kindness, and empathy. I recently purchased her a shirt emblazoned with the phrase “Best day ever!” which she genuinely embraces every single day. Her spirit radiates, and there’s no need for me to defend her existence; she is celebrated for who she is.
I admit, I sometimes worry that my son’s needs might overshadow her achievements. His requirements are more demanding, and I consciously strive to balance my attention. Yet, it is crucial to recognize that we, as parents of children with disabilities, are not showing favoritism by sharing more about them. We do this to connect with a community that understands our experiences and to advocate for a world that acknowledges the worth of every life, regardless of whether it fits societal norms.
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In conclusion, my focus on my son with Down syndrome is not a reflection of favoritism but a response to societal misconceptions. Each of my children holds an irreplaceable place in my heart, and my aim is to advocate for the recognition of all lives as equally valuable.