I first encountered Jamie Carter’s name in a way that many others did: he was dubbed “the pregnant man.” Alongside his partner, Alex Morgan, they were eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first child, and their journey captured the attention of many.
Both being part of the LGBTQ community wasn’t entirely shocking in 2017, but Carter’s identity as a transgender man brought the discussion of transgender individuals to the forefront. Even if I hadn’t been deeply researching transgender topics, it was impossible to overlook their viral story. I found myself drawn to learn more about them—not solely because of Carter’s unique experience, but also due to his warm personality and the happiness that radiated from him. If you don’t believe me, check out his captivating performance on The Mystery Box Show, and then make sure to grab a copy of his new book.
In “How We Do Family: From Adoption to Trans Pregnancy, What We Learned About Love and LGBTQ Parenthood,” Carter compiles his experiences into a single, heartwarming volume. This book is a delightful blend of joy and insight, and truly, you’ll be missing out if you don’t own a copy.
Rather than centering on the media frenzy surrounding Carter’s pregnancy, the narrative focuses on the love story between him and Alex, who adopted Alex’s niece and nephew when his sister was unable to care for them. It delves into themes of marriage, parenthood, loss, pregnancy, and resilience—all while emphasizing the importance of living authentically.
When I first learned of Jamie Carter, I was on my own journey of understanding my gender identity. While I identified as queer, I was still grappling with who I was. Back then, I was unaware of nonbinary identities, so I immersed myself in every story featuring transgender individuals, including articles and videos of Carter.
Throughout their journey, Carter and Alex’s relationship was refreshingly genuine, despite the negativity directed toward them by some. One particularly cruel message sent to Carter during his pregnancy read: “As a Christian, I hope that you give birth to a dead baby, because that baby would be better off than a baby that has to be born to someone like you.” Such harsh sentiments can cut deeply.
Years later, during a compelling talk on the Moth Mainstage, Carter shared how negativity began to infiltrate his psyche. He recounted a vivid nightmare of giving birth to a monster, which left him shaken. He expressed to Alex, “They hate us.” The awareness of the animosity towards their existence became painfully clear.
Like many others, I witnessed the hateful comments directed at Carter and his family from the safety of the internet. While I understood that being transgender is not something negative, the backlash they faced was far from uncommon. Despite the growing understanding of transgender lives, many still struggled with the concept of transgender individuals having children—a notion that was met with hostility by some.
I followed their story because it was beautiful. I encourage you to delve deeper into Jamie and Alex’s narrative beyond the headlines. Their family is truly inspiring, and I challenge you not to get lost in Jamie’s engaging Instagram feed.
Having received an early copy of “How We Do Family,” I felt protective of Carter’s openness as it grants readers the freedom to embrace their own vulnerabilities. His journey paves the way for greater representation of the joy surrounding transgender pregnancies, which often get overshadowed by narratives of trauma. This book celebrates LGBTQ parenthood and trans identity in a way that feels uplifting.
Scattered throughout the book are segments titled “Notes From Life in Our Family,” which offer practical advice and insights akin to guidance from a trusted friend. Carter writes with gentle wisdom, sharing lessons learned amidst challenges while leading with love.
In addition to being an author, Carter founded Collaborate Consulting, where he and his team provide valuable training and workshops focused on LGBTQ inclusion, racial justice, and equity for the transgender community. He continues to create opportunities for learning and celebrating the queer community with clear boundaries—demonstrating not just how he builds his family, but how he approaches life itself.
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Summary
Jamie Carter’s “How We Do Family” shares his journey through adoption, trans pregnancy, and love within the LGBTQ community. It provides valuable insights on resilience, authenticity, and the beauty of family, encouraging readers to embrace their own stories while celebrating diverse experiences in parenthood.