Red leggings and a white T-shirt—that was my outfit on the night I was assaulted. It was 1985, and I was just 15.
As you try to envision my attire, you might wonder: Were the leggings tight? Was my T-shirt cropped? Did I show too much skin? Does any of that matter? Absolutely not.
The only question that should be asked in the wake of a sexual assault is whether there was consent. Yet, the pervasive culture of victim blaming has led many to erroneously believe that a survivor’s clothing plays a role in the event. This warped perspective often distracts from the real issue: the perpetrator’s actions.
A powerful new exhibition at the University of Kansas called “What Were You Wearing?” directly confronts the myth that clothing can incite sexual violence. Featuring 18 outfits worn by survivors during assaults, along with their personal stories, the exhibit, curated by the university’s Sexual Assault Prevention and Education Center, serves as a bold reminder that attire has no bearing on the choice to commit a crime.
You’ll see a variety of clothing: a T-shirt paired with jeans, khakis with a dress shirt, a simple dress, even a child’s frock. Each of these garments stands as a testament that regardless of style or coverage, the outcome remains unchanged.
Victims courageous enough to come forward often face the intrusive question, “What were you wearing?” It’s a query primarily directed at women, as highlighted by a male participant who noted that no one inquired about his clothing after his assault. This discrepancy underscores the need for awareness.
With a sexual assault occurring every 98 seconds in America, it’s alarming to know that only one in three incidents get reported. The cycle of victim-blaming begins when survivors are grilled about their attire, alcohol consumption, and past behavior, diverting attention from the only true culprit: the rapist. Such questioning leads victims to internalize doubt and shame, which only exacerbates silence around these crimes and hinders justice.
There are no criteria that determine what constitutes sexual assault beyond the absence of consent. We cannot engage in discussions that suggest a victim’s clothing or circumstances somehow influence the moral culpability of the assailant.
The unfortunate reality is that societal attitudes have been shaped by influential figures. For instance, a well-known leader once claimed that he could not have assaulted someone because he found her unattractive, perpetuating the dangerous notion that appearance dictates consent.
This issue is so ingrained that even prominent figures like Chrissie Hynde have erroneously accepted responsibility for their own assaults, suggesting that a woman’s attire or state of intoxication justifies the violence against her. This perspective, however, is a blatant acceptance of rape culture.
Society must shift its focus to the only pertinent question: “How can I assist you?” Inquiries about what a victim was wearing are not only irrelevant but also damaging. Exhibitions like “What Were You Wearing?” play a crucial role in dismantling the narrative that places any responsibility on the victim. By fostering a dialogue devoid of blame, we can empower survivors to seek help and begin their healing journeys without fear of judgment.
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In summary, the “What Were You Wearing?” exhibit serves as a poignant reminder that clothing choices do not determine consent. The focus must remain on the actions of the perpetrator, not the victim. By challenging the damaging narrative of victim blaming, we can create a more supportive environment for survivors.