Updated: Oct. 19, 2023
Originally Published: March 1, 2016
It all started at a birthday celebration for a friend’s daughter. As I cradled my youngest on my right hip, my toddler sidled up, grasping my pant leg. “Mommy, Mommy, pick me up!” he implored. Naturally, I lifted him onto my other hip.
After a while, fatigue hit, and I attempted to set my baby down. His immediate reaction was a high-pitched wail that could rival a banshee’s cry, so I scooped him up again. I decided to let my toddler down instead, but he protested, “Mommy, I need you!” in the most convincing tone.
Finding a spacious armchair, I managed to nestle both kids close until their attention wandered—my toddler captivated by a towering Lego creation and the baby eyeing the snack table. He pointed eagerly at the treats, prompting me to carry him over. I made him a little bowl of cheese, and while he munched contentedly, a woman, likely a family member of my friend, leaned in and said, “You really should put him down. He’ll never walk if you keep carrying him. You’re going to spoil him.”
I laughed awkwardly, embarrassed by her unsolicited advice. “No thanks,” I managed, lacking anything more articulate to say at that moment. “You’re going to spoil him rotten, and the other one too,” she remarked, motioning toward my toddler.
Despite my internal frustration, I continued to hold my baby throughout the party. Why didn’t I defend my choices? Why let someone’s judgment overshadow my confidence?
As I sit here now, safely behind my computer screen, I’ve found the courage to respond:
Hey there! If embracing my children in my arms means I’m spoiling them, so be it. I’d rather have the most spoiled kids on the block than deny them the warmth, safety, and comfort they crave.
Interestingly, some adults are now paying for hugs due to a lack of physical affection in their lives. Perhaps you should consider joining one of those groups; it might help you connect with your human side.
To me, spoiling kids has always been about meeting their material desires—not the emotional ones. Yes, my children enjoy their share of flashy toys, but they also thrive on time spent with me. They need to be held, and I’m devoted to fulfilling that need; it’s part of my role as their parent.
Let me brag a bit: I can apply face cream, do my makeup, brush my teeth, and even blow-dry my hair—all while holding my baby. I can go to the bathroom, wash my hands, and prepare meals without ever putting him down. My toddler runs back and forth for hugs and cuddles, enriching this wonderful chaos.
I’ll keep carrying them on my hips and using whatever baby carriers I can find—whether it’s a Moby wrap or a Bjorn. I’ll lift them whenever they ask until they no longer do, and I’m okay with that. The day they stop asking will be a bittersweet sign that I’ve done my job right. Hopefully, they’ll grow up and understand how to nurture their own children’s needs with the same love.
Oh, hang on—tiny fingers are pulling my pant leg again! Someone wants a hug, and the other one wants to be carried.
So, if you’ll excuse me, I have the joyful task of spoiling my kids.
In a world where parenting advice often feels overwhelming, remember, the bond you build with your children is invaluable. For those interested in exploring more about home insemination options, check out this helpful resource. And if you’re in the thick of parenting challenges like potty training, this guide can assist you. For those navigating the journey of pregnancy, this article is a fantastic resource to consider.
Summary:
This article recounts the experience of a mother, Jenna, who reflects on the importance of holding and nurturing her children despite unsolicited advice suggesting she might be spoiling them. She embraces the joy of being a present and affectionate parent, acknowledging the emotional needs of her kids while dismissing the notion that physical affection leads to spoiling.