Today marks five years since my mother passed away. Each anniversary of her death has left me grappling with the swift passage of time. In previous years, I’ve written about my reflections, often centering on my children. After all, nothing sharpens maternal instincts quite like the experience of grief.
Time stops us in our tracks: one moment, little boys are transforming into young men with facial hair and muscular arms, and the next, teenage girls are blossoming into captivating young women (with — gasp! — boyfriends). The busy schedules fill up quicker than I can blink, and if I had a dollar for every friend lamenting, “Where did the time go?” on social media, I’d be wealthy.
This year, however, I feel a shift in my perspective. While I’m still astonished by how quickly time flies (and still in disbelief that I can legally enjoy a drink with half of my children), I’m finding myself more at peace with the flow of time. I appreciate both its presence and the anticipation of what lies ahead. This newfound acceptance fills me with excitement and hope for the future, even on the tougher days.
From graduations to college acceptances, engagements, and a stubborn son finally getting his long hair trimmed — there is so much joy in our lives that it feels almost unjust not to embrace happiness. I can’t help but think that if my mom sensed any sorrow where her grandkids are concerned, she would be furious.
Though I miss her deeply, I find it hard to linger in sadness. That’s just not her style.
Turning 50 this year has undoubtedly contributed to my mindset. Fifty. Can you believe it? It’s astonishing how quickly we reach such milestones. I remember planning her 50th surprise party where we crammed her friends into my small apartment and threw her a keg party — even though she wasn’t much of a drinker. The joy on her face was unforgettable, even if she was slightly annoyed that her grandchild didn’t make it to the celebration.
On these anniversaries, I reflect on the friends she left behind and feel a profound sadness for them navigating life without her. She instilled in me the importance of surrounding myself with caring friends, many of whom are just a phone call or a short drive away. Some are even a flight away, ready to support me at a moment’s notice.
During my college days, I was a huge fan of funny writer Erma Bombeck. I once clipped a column of hers called “No Greater Friend Than a Best Friend” and mailed it to my best friend since fifth grade, Jamie. Despite us rarely living in the same state, we managed to keep our bond strong. She returned the clipping to me for my 30th birthday, and I framed it to send back to her when she turned 40. It’s made its way back to me again, destined to hang on my wall for years to come.
What a blessing it is to have such a long-lasting friendship! How beautiful that my mom inspired so many cherished memories! And how amusingly ironic that my kids didn’t plan my 50th birthday bash (just kidding, I orchestrated every detail).
I think of her every day, but today, I celebrate her. You are on so many minds today, Mom. Cheers and love.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Rachel Thompson shares her thoughts on the passing of time following her mother’s death five years ago. As she navigates the milestones of her children’s lives and embraces her own turning point at age 50, she finds joy and hope in the memories and lessons imparted by her mother. Through friendships and cherished moments, she honors her mother’s legacy while remaining optimistic about the future.