Key Milestones
Preparing Your Tween or Teen for Their Initial Gynecological Visit
When should they schedule their appointment? What should they anticipate? Here’s what gynecologists recommend.
If the idea of visiting the gynecologist makes you wince a little, consider how your child might feel about their first appointment. No one enjoys a trip to the doctor, and the anxiety surrounding a stranger examining personal areas of the body can be daunting, irrespective of their kindness or good intentions. Fortunately, there are numerous ways you can help alleviate your child’s apprehensions before their first visit, as shared by two gynecologists.
When to Schedule the Appointment
So, how do you determine the right time for an appointment? “There isn’t a specific age when a parent should arrange a visit to the gynecologist, but generally, the onset of menstruation (typically between 13 and 15 years) is a good time to consider it,” explains Dr. Emily Johnson, Chief Medical Officer at Family Health. “However, you should also consider factors like sexual activity or potential plans to engage in it. It’s essential to have these discussions beforehand so your child is well-informed and safe if they decide to become sexually active. A gynecologist can assist in these conversations, clarify the risks of sexual activity, and provide proper protection methods.”
“In certain cases, younger individuals may need to see a gynecologist earlier due to medical conditions like premature puberty or organ development issues,” adds Johnson. “If you’re considering vaccinations like the HPV vaccine, you might schedule an appointment with a gynecologist as early as 11 or 12 years old for that series.”
While guidelines from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) suggest scheduling visits between ages 13 and 15, it’s crucial not to pressure your child into making an appointment, especially if they have regular menstrual cycles and aren’t sexually active. In such instances, it’s perfectly fine to let them take the initiative and inform you when they feel ready.
How to Prepare for the Appointment
If your child shows signs of nervousness, it’s your role to help them feel comfortable and empower them to make informed choices about their health. “Conversations should begin at home to alleviate anxiety or fears beforehand,” says Johnson. “Visiting the gynecologist is a vital component of health care, which includes discussing pelvic health and educating them on bodily functions. Parents should explain the reasoning behind the appointment and address their child’s specific situation.”
Ask your child if they have a preference for the doctor’s gender or if they would rather see a different gynecologist than you do. If you need recommendations for a welcoming and inclusive gynecologist, you can gather suggestions from friends, local parenting groups, your child’s pediatrician, or by looking through the North American Society for Pediatric and Adolescent Gynecology.
Before the appointment, it may be beneficial to talk about your family’s medical history, as well as your child’s past hospitalizations, surgeries, and medications. Normalize discussions about their bodies and experiences, reassuring them that there’s no shame in asking questions. Encourage openness; there’s no need for embarrassment, as doctors have encountered a wide range of situations.
You might also suggest that your child compile a list of questions they wish to ask, which can help alleviate anxieties about forgetting something important. According to ACOG, young patients often want to discuss topics such as menstruation, birth control, acne, sex and sexuality, weight, STIs, emotional health, and more with their gynecologist.
What to Expect During the Visit
Typically, there are two types of gynecological appointments: routine checkups or “well-woman” visits and visits for specific concerns. “Unless the child is sexually active or has health issues like abnormal bleeding or pelvic pain, a pelvic exam won’t be performed,” states Johnson. “The doctor will inquire about medical history and carry out a general physical exam, including height, weight, and blood pressure assessments. The doctor will also start by asking general health questions related to menstruation, sexual activity, or any concerns they wish to discuss. Depending on the reason for the visit, a basic external genital exam or a full pelvic exam may be conducted if necessary. For sexually active individuals, testing for STDs might be performed through urine or blood samples if a pelvic exam isn’t needed.”
Current ACOG guidelines suggest that the first pap smear should occur at age 21, which may help ease any worries your teen might have about that aspect of their visit.
If your teen has privacy concerns, Johnson notes that “most doctors will offer to speak with the child privately during the appointment, allowing them to discuss concerns or ask questions freely.” You can also reassure your child that you are happy to accompany them if they feel more comfortable with you present, and you can remain fully clothed, adds Dr. Mark Thompson, MD, founder of Women’s Health Solutions. Many gynecologists also have a nurse present during pelvic exams. “At some point during the appointment, the doctor may ask the parent to step out, allowing the patient to speak privately, which can help a teen build independence and feel more comfortable discussing sensitive topics.”
Gender-Affirming Care
“I recommend that parents communicate in advance with the provider their child will see,” adds Thompson. “The parent may have the first conversation, especially if the child has experienced sexual trauma or identifies as nonbinary, transgender, or gender non-conforming. In such cases, you can inform the doctor or staff about your child’s pronouns, specific concerns, and preferred terminology for body parts to ensure they feel as comfortable as possible.”
Finding gender-affirming care can be particularly challenging, and ACOG highlights that many LGBTQIA+ youth struggle to find knowledgeable and culturally competent healthcare. However, if your child has breasts, a cervix, or a vagina, it is vital they receive appropriate care and support from both their family and gynecologist.
For more insights on this subject, you can check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination or delve into our other blog post about autumn meals.
Summary
Navigating your tween or teen’s first gynecological appointment can be a daunting task for both parent and child. Open communication, understanding when to schedule the visit, and knowing what to expect can significantly ease anxiety. Encouraging your child to voice their preferences and concerns, along with preparing them for the appointment, can foster a sense of empowerment regarding their health. Gender-affirming care is also crucial, especially for LGBTQIA+ youth, ensuring they receive the support and understanding they need during this important milestone.