Alright, folks, let’s get real. After attending countless baby showers—some of which were even my own—I have one straightforward request: can we please put an end to these torturous baby shower games? Seriously, they are the absolute worst.
First off, nobody wants to guess the flavor of melted candy bar in a diaper. Trust me, NOBODY. While it might seem funny to joke about the messy realities of motherhood, it’s not cute. Between my three kids, two dogs, and my own chaos at home, I have more than enough “mess” to deal with. I didn’t come to this gathering to play in more of it for the sake of laughter.
And let’s talk about the trivia games. I don’t want to guess how many diapers a baby uses in a year or the cost of raising a child in today’s world. I didn’t sign up for a quiz, nor do I want to wallow in the depressing reality of my dwindling bank account.
Speaking of guessing, I have zero interest in betting on the size of the mom-to-be’s belly. She’s not a racehorse; this isn’t Vegas. IT’S BIG, we all know it, and she certainly knows it too. Does she really need another reminder of how she’s currently resembling a very large animal?
As for sniffing jars of baby food and trying to identify the flavors? No thanks. I can barely tolerate that stuff when I’m feeding it to my own kids. I didn’t wrangle a babysitter just to end up gagging at someone else’s house.
And to those who quiz me on how well I know the mom-to-be, let’s be honest—I might only be here because she’s my husband’s distant relative and I was dragged along. So when you ask about her eye color, birth date, or kindergarten milestones, my answer is simple: I HAVE NO IDEA. Even if she were a close friend, I struggle to keep track of my own life, let alone someone else’s.
And if one more person tries to make me pin a sperm on an egg, I might lose it. This is not a joke. Nobody enjoys these games, not even you, hostess. Just admit it! (But if you insist on making us participate in that sing-song voice one more time, all bets are off.)
What would truly make this event enjoyable? Just feed us some sandwiches and pour us a drink. That’s all we really need. Let the expectant mother indulge in her pastries, open her presents, and get home quickly to kick off her support hose and put her swollen feet up on a pile of pillows.
For the love of all that is sacred, please let’s stop the games!
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In summary, let’s ditch the baby shower games and focus on what truly matters: food, drinks, and celebrating the mother-to-be in a relaxed atmosphere.