Let’s get one thing straight—unless you have a medical reason to avoid them, carbs are not the enemy. If you can indulge in piles of bacon or pork rinds, then enjoying a banana or sweet potato should be just as acceptable.
You should never feel the need to “make up” for indulging in a donut or any other treat with intense workouts or skipped meals. You don’t owe anyone an explanation when you order your favorite dessert or comfort food at a gathering with friends. It’s time to stop assigning moral values to food. This mindset only fosters disordered eating, shame, and a deep-rooted fear of fat.
We’ve been conditioned to think this way, myself included. My own journey with disordered eating and body image issues has been a long one. While I’m actively working to dismantle the harmful beliefs that diet culture has ingrained in me, it’s still a daily struggle to appreciate and nourish my body without constantly fixating on shrinking it.
The other day, at a coffee shop, a young girl in front of me wanted a bagel. Without hesitation, her mother shot back, “Too many carbs, you don’t want to be a big fatty!” My heart sank. I wanted to tell that girl, “Your weight doesn’t define you. You are beautiful, you are incredible, and you can enjoy food without guilt. Let me buy you that bagel.”
But I didn’t. I held back because I didn’t want to intrude on their family dynamic, especially given my own history of toxic weight-shaming in my upbringing. Instead, I offered a warm smile, hoping she could read my thoughts and know her worth.
This kind of experience is all too common. At a recent school event, while everyone munched on snacks, one mother grabbed a piece of candy and apologized, saying, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. I don’t want to blow up like a balloon.” I understood where she was coming from, but it was disheartening. These words can hurt others, even if unintended.
I’ve been there—feeling the need to justify my food choices to strangers. The fact that anyone feels the need to apologize for enjoying a treat shows just how deeply ingrained these societal pressures are. We’ve learned that if we’re not thin, we should feel guilty for eating anything but “healthy” options. This is especially true for larger individuals, who face scrutiny for indulging in food deemed “unhealthy.” The idea that only thin people deserve to enjoy food is infuriating.
We cannot judge someone’s health or worth based on their appearance or dietary choices. Everyone deserves respect and the freedom to eat what they want without facing judgement.
Personally, my recovery from an eating disorder has meant gaining weight. My body has changed, especially after having kids. I remember a time when I would push myself to extremes, only fueling my body with water during long shifts, while my stomach pleaded for nourishment. I was thin, but I certainly wasn’t healthy.
If you find yourself clinging to the “glorifying obesity” argument while body-positive advocates work to change this harmful narrative, it’s time to rethink your stance. If you feel the need to share your diet or weight loss efforts unsolicited, please keep it to yourself. If you catch yourself judging others based on appearance or food choices, consider seeking help to address those feelings.
It’s your choice to enjoy a mini candy bar or a full-sized one—just do it without guilt. Cultivating a healthy relationship with food means allowing yourself to enjoy what you love without worrying about consequences. And remember, honoring your hunger is essential. Life is too short to be preoccupied with hunger pains.
Most importantly, please refrain from making value judgments about your children based on their size or what they choose to eat. A bagel will not define your daughter’s worth, but your words may leave lasting scars. Let’s do better so we don’t pass these harmful ideas on to the next generation.
So, let’s stop talking about diets already.
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Summary
The article emphasizes the importance of reframing our conversations about food and body image. It challenges the harmful societal norms that equate worth with thinness and encourages individuals to embrace a healthy relationship with food, free from guilt and shame. The writer shares personal experiences and observations, urging readers to stop perpetuating diet culture, especially when it comes to the next generation.