From the moment I announced my pregnancy, I was forewarned by friends who had navigated the relentless sea of unsolicited advice and invasive questions. I thought they were exaggerating. Surely, people would respect me and my growing belly. How bad could it really be?
Initially, when a stranger first acknowledged my pregnancy, I beamed with joy. It was a delightful moment — finally, my bump was visible enough for others to notice! My friends must be overreacting, I thought. However, as my belly expanded, the unsolicited commentary flooded in. Strangers, coworkers, and casual acquaintances bombarded me with remarks about my body, my pregnancy, and their concerns for my little one, as if they were my personal advisors. As a server, I had to plaster on a smile and endure the onslaught instead of tossing a tray of soup at these intrusive individuals. Anyone who has been pregnant while working in customer service knows this struggle all too well — we’re like trapped performers forced to smile through the nonsense.
Here’s a taste of the toxic comments that pregnant women often face. Are you guilty of any of these?
Are you having twins? Are you due tomorrow?
Let’s stop right there. Any comment that suggests a woman is too large is just plain rude. You have no right to comment on her body, ever! Pregnancy doesn’t grant anyone a free pass to critique a woman’s figure. Besides, pregnant women are already stressed about weight gain and body changes. And guess what? She knows her body better than you do, so please, keep your opinions to yourself.
You’re going to quit your job, right?
Unless my baby arrives with a trust fund, I highly doubt it! This outdated notion that women should ditch their jobs upon childbirth is ridiculous. Do you think housing costs magically disappear when someone has a baby? The financial reality is that having a child usually increases living expenses. This question implies that a woman isn’t a good mother if she continues to work, which is absurd. If you’re asking this, you need to reevaluate your assumptions.
Who’s going to take care of the baby?
This question often comes right after a woman says she’s not quitting her job. It’s tempting to jokingly suggest my cat could babysit, but seriously, do you think a pregnant woman hasn’t already considered childcare options? She’s undoubtedly spent sleepless nights worrying about this, and whatever her plan is, it’s none of your business.
What does your partner do for a living?
This question typically emerges when people see a pregnant woman in a job like mine — serving tables. The implication is clear: they think I must be struggling financially, and they’re hoping to hear my partner has a high-paying job to “rescue” me. This is not only rude but also reflects poorly on your understanding of financial dynamics. Plus, I make a decent living, so thanks for the concern, but no need to judge.
Were you happy when you found out if it was a boy or a girl?
No, we were heartbroken. What kind of response are you expecting? This question is not only awkward but also insensitive. Gender disappointment exists, and it’s not a topic for casual conversation. So, please, save yourself the embarrassment and think before you ask.
Are you going to keep the baby’s name a secret?
Yes, absolutely! If you’re hoping to pressure expectant parents into revealing their chosen name, think again. Many parents choose to keep names private to avoid unsolicited opinions. One disapproving comment can ruin their excitement. If they want to share, they will, so just respect their choice.
Was it an accident, or did you plan this?
Yes, people have actually asked this question! It’s incredibly invasive and downright rude. If the pregnancy was planned, it’s irritating to imply otherwise, and if it wasn’t, that’s a deeply personal matter.
I know I’ve vented a lot, and some may think I’m being overly sensitive. Well, yes, pregnancy hormones can amplify emotions, but that doesn’t excuse poor manners.
So, what can you say to a pregnant woman? Treat her like a normal person! Talk to her about something other than pregnancy. She’d probably appreciate a break from baby talk. If she wants to share, she will.
And if you must comment on her pregnancy, stick to these three phrases:
- You look beautiful.
- Would you like to take a seat?
- Where are you registered?
For more insights on pregnancy and related topics, you can check out Kindbody, an excellent resource. And if you’re interested in home insemination kits, visit Make A Mom to learn more. For additional information on pregnancy and parenting, Glodea is a trusted authority on these subjects.
In summary, being a pregnant woman in public can be a complicated experience filled with unsolicited advice and invasive questions. The best approach is to treat expecting mothers with respect and kindness, focusing on positive and supportive conversation instead.