It’s a moment that fills every parent with dread: receiving a call from the school principal to discuss your child’s behavior. My heart sank as I braced for yet another difficult conversation. And of course, the meetings always seem to take place at the most inconvenient times, often in those tiny chairs that make you feel like a child again.
During the meeting, we were informed that my 5-year-old son, Max, was struggling in the classroom and having behavioral issues with both his classmates and teachers. Unlike previous schools, where I was left to figure things out on my own, the director surprised me by asking if we were familiar with sensory processing disorder. She then handed me a flyer for an organization called LifeSkills.
Shortly after, I found myself on the phone with LifeSkills’ director. In just five minutes, I felt as if we had stumbled upon the crucial piece of the puzzle regarding Max’s behavior.
Sensory processing involves how a child’s nervous system interprets sensory information—sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell—and responds to it. For children with sensory processing issues, their brains struggle to properly organize the multitude of signals around them, leading to inappropriate reactions. Various types exist, including sensory over-responsivity, under-responsivity, and sensory-seeking behaviors.
Max is particularly sensitive to touch, especially from unfamiliar people. If someone invades his personal space or snatches a toy, he reacts strongly. Socks are a no-go for him, and he still wears pull-ups at night. Noisy environments, like classrooms, irritate him immensely; he once yelled for silence in a bustling doctor’s waiting room. Even the smells of dinner or the sound of chewing can send him to another room to eat. Yet, when it comes to ice cream, he indulges without a care, getting it everywhere. Mornings are slow for him, and any change in routine is met with distress. We previously thought these behaviors were just him being difficult.
That evening, while at the park, a neighbor asked about our school situation. I nervously admitted that we had switched schools after being asked to leave another one earlier in the year. To my surprise, she revealed that her son also has sensory processing disorder. I was grateful for her openness—it made me feel less isolated.
In one day, I found myself in multiple conversations about something I had never known existed. Later, my neighbor knocked on my door, handing me a book titled “Sensational Kids” by Lucy Jane Miller, and offered to share her experiences with her now-thriving 12-year-old son.
Max underwent an evaluation, and the diagnosis confirmed my suspicions: he had sensory processing disorder. Unfortunately, public schools and insurance companies often do not recognize this condition, so Max was diagnosed with dyspraxia (difficulty with motor planning), hypotonia (low muscle tone), and coordination disorder. Simple tasks like walking heel-to-toe or holding a cannonball position were beyond him. It was heartbreaking to realize that his struggles were not due to a lack of intelligence or effort—he simply wasn’t receiving the right signals to guide his body.
Understanding this new information brought a wave of emotion; I felt guilty for not grasping his challenges sooner. But with every new insight we gain, we inch closer to helping him thrive.
We discovered that mouth muscles typically develop before hand muscles. Max has been in speech therapy since he was a toddler. His constant chewing on his collar and his love for hot chocolate, gum, and salt-and-vinegar chips are all ways he seeks sensory stimulation.
Max enjoys riding his bike and kayaking due to their repetitive and predictable motions, which he finds comforting. I still hold out hope that he will excel in sports.
The key to navigating all of this has been occupational therapy. Max looks forward to sessions with his occupational therapist, who comes to his school weekly. Interestingly, she transitioned from engineering to occupational therapy after seeking help for her son with sensory processing disorder.
As we approach the fall, I worry whether Max will be ready for kindergarten. Every parent desires their child to fit in and succeed. However, weeks after that initial meeting with his teacher, I found renewed hope and appreciation. Our school is committed to supporting us, and I have the backing of family and friends who believe in Max’s potential. A friend even left an encouraging note and a bottle of wine for me, reassuring me that I’m doing a great job as a mom.
Most importantly, we now have a better understanding of what Max is experiencing. With this knowledge, we can offer him the time, patience, and empathy he needs to navigate and thrive in this complex world.
For those who are exploring similar journeys, consider checking out resources such as Mount Sinai’s Infertility Resources for valuable information. And if you’re interested in personal stories, you might find inspiration in Jamie and Taylor’s Journey to Parenthood. Also, for additional insights on relationship building, explore our post about couples’ fertility journeys for intracervical insemination.
In summary, understanding sensory processing disorder opened new doors for my son and our family. By seeking help and connecting with others, I learned we are not alone in this journey. Each step we take brings us closer to a brighter future for Max.