“Just so you know, you have my full support to be as ‘rude’ as necessary, right?”
“Absolutely, Mom. I get it.”
“You can shout any curse words you want. Make everyone look.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard it before.”
“Make them think you’re out of your mind. Show them you won’t tolerate their nonsense.”
“Okay, I’ll scream and flail. I got it, Mom.”
This recent exchange was with my 11-year-old daughter, a conversation we’ve had multiple times. I’ve also had similar discussions with my son. Now that he’s 15, I focus more on the importance of being an ally and respecting personal space. I want him to be aware and respectful of women’s boundaries, as well as to feel empowered to confront anyone who is being inappropriate. It’s crucial that he understands the impact of his actions, especially when he might unintentionally come off as threatening.
I talk to my children about these issues because I want them to know that while kindness is essential, they don’t owe anything to people who disrespect their boundaries or exhibit creepy behavior. Their safety is my top concern; the feelings of those behaving inappropriately come second.
Social niceties can take a backseat when it comes to personal safety. So, when the situation calls for it, I encourage them to be assertive and unapologetically rude.
Teaching Assertiveness
For years, I’ve been telling my kids to “be rude” when it comes to standing up for themselves. My message became even clearer after seeing a TikTok series by user @spiritual_af, which addresses the need for open conversations about inappropriate behavior.
“Why do families warn kids about creepy Uncle Jimmy, but never address why he’s creepy?” This question hits home. Many adults overlook their instincts to maintain peace, allowing unsettling behavior to persist unchallenged.
In her videos, @spiritual_af rightfully asks why we don’t confront someone directly about their actions. If no one speaks up, the person may think they’re behaving normally or feel emboldened by the silence.
“We don’t have to put every creep behind bars to make this stop,” she argues. “We need to speak up, even if it’s uncomfortable.” It’s about holding people accountable for their actions, regardless of whether those actions have crossed a legal line yet. If someone is acting inappropriately, it’s essential to call them out and show them they’re being watched.
I take this advice seriously with my kids, especially my daughter. It’s okay to act in a way that may seem “crazy” or “rude” if it helps ensure her safety. I give her permission to make others uncomfortable if that’s what it takes to protect herself.
Challenging Norms
I often share the insightful TikTok video by user @gabin.sarah, which emphasizes the importance of disregarding societal expectations when someone is being inappropriate. I want my daughter to feel empowered and show my son that he should never be the one who ends up making someone feel unsafe.
As @spiritual_af says, “Politeness protects predators.” This applies across the board. By bringing unwanted behavior to light, we can help prevent it. Teach your children to trust their instincts, to be assertive when they feel uncomfortable, and to prioritize their safety over social niceties.
In summary, empower your children to stand up against inappropriate behavior. Their physical and emotional well-being should always take precedence over societal expectations. For more insights on this topic, check out this related blog post and resources like this informative site about home insemination and here for excellent pregnancy resources.