As a plus-sized mom, the thought of volunteering at my children’s school often made me anxious. The influence of diet culture led me to believe that I could be a source of embarrassment for my kids. Although we strive to create a body-positive atmosphere at home, not every child experiences this kind of acceptance. Fat jokes can be prevalent, and I know I can’t shield my kids from such remarks.
This fear is part of why I felt hesitant about volunteering. I envisioned myself as the mom who would help at events, contribute to the Christmas toy drive, and bring small treats for the office staff. It has always been my aspiration to be an engaged parent, and while I’ve managed to fulfill that dream, it’s not without a bit of nervousness.
If you’ve ever lived in a larger body, you might relate to my experiences. The emotions tied to being plus-sized are complex. Even those who feel confident in their skin can find themselves in situations that stir insecurity. For me, volunteering at my kids’ school triggered those feelings.
I worried that instead of being welcomed in their classrooms, my presence would make my kids uncomfortable. Would they have to endure teasing about their “fat mom” once I left? Thankfully, my boys are still young, but so far, those fears have not come true. They find comfort in my presence and proudly introduce me to their friends. I’m their only mom, and they love having me involved.
Though my concerns haven’t materialized, they’re not entirely unfounded. Over the years, children have pointed out my size without any intention to offend. Their innocent observations often stem from the straightforward honesty of childhood. I remember a time when a little one asked why I was round, and I couldn’t help but smile at her innocent curiosity.
Being around a large group of children means hearing a variety of comments, and it’s natural to wonder what they might say about me. However, when a child comments on my size, I remind myself that it doesn’t have to be a significant issue. Here are a few tips I keep in mind:
1. Your Reaction Matters
How you respond to a child’s comment can influence their feelings about themselves and body image. Unless it’s your child, it’s not your responsibility to teach them lessons about body comments. Avoid making them feel ashamed, as this only reinforces negative views about being fat.
2. Kids Are Innocent
Remember, children lack the life experience that shapes our opinions about body image. They may not fully grasp the implications of their words, so try not to view their comments as rude.
3. Have a Prepared Response
Over time, I’ve developed a simple response for when kids remark on my size: “I know! I am (fat/big/a circle/whatever they say). Isn’t it amazing that we all come in different sizes? Just like you have (a different trait) and I have (my trait), we’re all unique and it makes life interesting!” This usually suffices.
4. Stay Positive
If they ask why I’m fat, I simply explain, “That’s how my body grew!” I never deny my body type because kids are perceptive. I also don’t tell them not to comment on bodies since that’s not my role in that brief encounter. I aim to plant seeds of positivity about body size by being a confident adult who doesn’t react negatively to innocent observations.
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In summary, volunteering at your children’s school as a plus-sized parent can bring about feelings of anxiety, but it’s important to approach the situation with confidence and positivity. Children may make innocent comments, but how you respond can help shape their understanding of body diversity. Embrace your role and remember that your children see you as a source of love and support.