Menu
- Parenting
Embracing the Value of Negative Emotions
By Gretchen Rubin
Updated: Aug. 13, 2015
Originally Published: Dec. 10, 2014
In my view, the goal of a happiness project isn’t to erase all forms of unhappiness from our lives. Given the nature of existence and human behavior, that’s simply unattainable, and even if it were possible, it wouldn’t be beneficial. In fact, negative emotions can serve a crucial function in fostering a happy life. They act as vivid indicators that something is amiss and often motivate me to take action.
According to the First Splendid Truth, achieving greater happiness requires me to reflect on the feelings of joy, sorrow, and moral alignment within a context of personal growth. Recognizing “feeling bad” is an integral part of this journey. One of the motivations behind my happiness project was to address negative feelings such as guilt, resentment, and boredom. For instance, I often felt guilty for losing my temper with my children, resentful toward my partner for not giving me the acknowledgment I craved, and bored with activities I thought I “should” enjoy. Importantly, the discomfort stemming from witnessing others’ struggles—whether friends or strangers—can act as a catalyst for action. Discovering ways to alleviate these negative emotions has led me to a more fulfilling and virtuous life.
Consider this: a friend once mentioned, “I realized I needed to manage my kids’ screen time when I found myself lying to our pediatrician about how much TV they were watching.” Another friend shared, “At my new job, I have the option to walk to work. I kept claiming I did, but in truth, I only walked a handful of times. This made me realize that the idea of walking was significant to me—otherwise, why would I bother to fabricate it? I needed to be honest with myself about my actions, and eventually, I did start walking regularly.”
As noted by Samuel Johnson, “The medicine, which, rightly applied, has power to cure, has, when rashness or ignorance prescribes it, the same power to destroy.” While negative emotions can be a bitter medicine that promotes growth, they can also lead to serious unhappiness or even depression if they become overwhelming. In these cases, seeking professional help is essential.
A significant aspect of enhancing happiness involves either eliminating the sources of unhappiness or, when that’s not feasible, managing negative emotions and challenging situations constructively. For more insights on navigating these themes, consider reading through our other posts on home insemination kits, as well as resources from Facts About Fertility and Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, while negative emotions can be uncomfortable, they also serve as valuable indicators of what needs attention in our lives. By acknowledging and addressing these feelings, we can foster personal growth and ultimately enhance our happiness.