Recently, my family embarked on a road trip to our cabin in the serene landscapes of upstate New York. Reflecting on past journeys, I remember when my boys were infants. Those four-hour drives often stretched into an entire day filled with frequent stops for diaper changes and nursing sessions. Both of my little ones had a knack for transforming our car into a makeshift concert hall of screams, necessitating constant pit stops to calm their cries.
I can still picture the sight of my babies squirming in their car seats, faces flushed from tears and tiny fists shaking with frustration. It was a challenging phase, to say the least, and I’m grateful to have moved past it.
On our way back, we paused at a rest area for a quick Starbucks run. My husband and kids were comfortably settled in the car, engrossed in their screens, while I braved the long line of caffeine-seekers. Behind me, a father was bouncing a fussy baby on his knee, attempting to soothe him.
As the baby tugged at my hair, I chuckled and reassured the dad that I found it cute. However, I couldn’t help but inquire about the baby’s fussiness. “Oh, he’s not a fan of the car,” the dad replied. I shared my own experiences of car trips filled with unhappiness, which seemed to lighten his mood a bit.
Then he asked, “But I’ll miss this, right?” I chuckled in return, saying, “You might miss some moments, but definitely not the crying!”
As we both awaited our coffee, the baby resumed his wailing, tears streaming down his round cheeks. The father, now visibly embarrassed, reiterated to a stranger, “But I’ll miss it, right?”
I understood his sentiment, but I wish that phrase didn’t exist. “You’ll miss it” was a common refrain I heard as a new mom. Whenever I voiced my frustrations—sleepless nights, endless demands, and a loss of my former self—the response was always, “Oh, just wait. You’ll miss all of this.” Honestly, it wasn’t reassuring. It made me feel pressured to embrace every single aspect of motherhood without question. Yes, I loved many things about it, and I genuinely ache for my boys’ baby days, but the tough times? I don’t miss them at all.
During those exhausting moments, I craved a space to share my frustrations without judgment. It felt invalidating to be told I’d miss every part of this journey when I just needed a chance to express how overwhelming it could be.
So, to that dad at the rest stop and to all the new parents out there: It’s perfectly fine to vent. You aren’t required to cherish every second. Some moments are simply grueling. Getting covered in vomit at 3 a.m.? Not fun. Surviving on one-hour sleep intervals for months? Absolutely brutal. Rocking a colicky baby for hours every night? Pure torture.
Feel free to complain! Don’t hold back. We know you adore your children more than anything, and you’re creating countless treasured memories you wish you could capture forever. We understand you’re #blessed and #grateful, but that doesn’t mean you should sugarcoat the tough parts. Sometimes, parenting is downright hard.
You may not miss the late-night messes, the sleepless nights, or the crying. And that’s okay. What truly makes you remarkable is your perseverance. You push through the chaos and challenges because of the immense love you have for your little ones. You’re a superhero, a miracle worker, and you deserve to celebrate the joys while also acknowledging the struggles.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. We’ve all faced similar challenges, and we all deserve a little treat for our efforts—like a well-deserved venti iced mocha Frappuccino!
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Summary
In the journey of parenthood, it’s essential to acknowledge both the beautiful and the challenging moments. While the memories of sleepless nights and tantrums may fade, the love for your children remains unwavering. Embrace the good, vent about the tough, and remember that you are not alone in this experience.