Parenting Insights on the Awkward Phase by Harmony Hobbs
Updated: Aug. 2, 2016
Originally Published: Oct. 12, 2013
Reflecting on my own awkward phase, I can’t help but smile through the cringe. Those throwback photos from my teenage years evoke a visceral reaction—almost enough to make me feel queasy.
At the height of my awkwardness, I sported a disastrous perm, clunky glasses, and a wardrobe reminiscent of a middle-aged woman. Little has changed in terms of my sense of fashion since then.
I vividly remember the sting of having crushes on boys who couldn’t see past my frizzy hair and acne. The weight of a lunch tray felt particularly heavy as I navigated the unfamiliar social landscape of the cafeteria, desperately trying to fit in.
The awkward phase was nothing short of torturous. However, it was also a crucial period that shaped my resilience. Though uncomfortable, this phase forced me to delve deep and unearth the traits that now bolster me through life’s challenges. Many people who haven’t faced struggles in their youth often find themselves ill-equipped to handle adult adversities.
During that tumultuous time, I cultivated empathy, having experienced my own share of pain. I discovered the power of humor, as laughter became my refuge. I sharpened my instincts and developed a keen sense for spotting insincerity. I found hidden talents that had nothing to do with appearance—thankfully.
Despite the hardships I endured, I have no intention of shielding my children from their own awkward experiences. In fact, I embrace it. I hope their journeys are epic, allowing them to discover their strength. Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” I certainly did, and emerged with new wisdom, like the importance of tweezers and contact lenses.
Now, I have a son, and his cherubic smile captures the attention of anyone nearby. Recently, as we strolled through our gym during a water aerobics class, a hush fell over the room. The instructor paused mid-sentence, captivated by my child’s charm.
I can’t blame her; he truly is adorable. The instructor later approached me, exclaiming, “Your little boy is absolutely stunning! I lost my train of thought just admiring him!”
“Thank you,” I replied, continuing on our way.
However, my son remains blissfully unaware of his beauty. He is a joyful, charismatic child—intelligent and full of life. He recognizes shapes and colors and can count, yet the only thing people seem to notice is his looks. “He’s also clever,” I assert. “And hilarious.” Unfortunately, no one seems to hear me, too engrossed in admiring his captivating eyes and infectious smile, and I completely understand why.
Yet, I want all three of my children to build character. I want them to realize they have so much to offer beyond mere appearances. I want them to feel confident in knowing that having survived the trials of adolescence, such as pimples and unkind remarks, they can face adult challenges, too.
I hope they learn kindness through understanding what it feels like to endure cruelty. I want them to grasp the rollercoaster of life—experiencing both triumphs and devastating setbacks in equal measure.
The awkward phase is a time when life lessons bombard you from every direction. It’s painful, but ultimately, it’s a phase that’s worth embracing. Bring on the headgear!
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Summary:
The awkward phase, while challenging, is a pivotal experience that fosters resilience and empathy in children. Reflecting on my own journey, I recognize the importance of allowing my children to face their own awkwardness, as it equips them with vital life skills and character.