When my daughter, Mia, was just three years old, she returned home with a heavy heart, announcing that she would no longer attend her beloved preschool. Confused, I asked her why, and tears began to flow down her cheeks. She explained that the classroom had a growth chart, with tape marking the heights of each child. While her friends were positioned at the top and in the middle, her name unfortunately sat at the very bottom, isolated from the others.
“I’m the worst because I’m at the bottom,” she lamented. “Everyone is taller and better than me.”
As someone who stands at a mere 5’2″ (on a good day with heels), I completely understood her feelings. Growing up, I was always the smallest in my class, but it never affected me as it did her. I recognized early on that basketball wasn’t in my future, yet I cherished the perks of being petite, like fitting perfectly in the front row for class photos.
“I don’t like being called shorty,” Mia told me one day.
Instead of dismissing her feelings or telling her to ignore those comments, I decided to highlight the advantages of being small. I pointed out how she was the last to get soaked in the rain and could find the coziest hiding spots during games of hide-and-seek. Yet, despite my efforts, she would still return home, upset after being called “little bean” by her friends.
Statistics show that over 160,000 kids skip school daily to escape bullying, with research indicating that such behavior can start as early as age three, particularly targeting girls. The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress emphasizes the significant long-term psychological effects of bullying. Unlike physical scars from fights, the emotional wounds inflicted by cruel words can linger, shaping a child’s self-worth and identity.
I didn’t want Mia to become another victim of these statistics. While I understood that her friends’ comments were often playful, I worried that constant teasing about her height might undermine her confidence during such a formative period.
In my quest to find relatable role models, I searched through books, movies, and shows, hoping to find a short character who was a heroine. To my surprise, not only could I find none, but I stumbled upon numerous tall characters who were celebrated for their abilities. Take Elasti-Girl from The Incredibles; she can stretch taller to defeat villains. And Wonder Woman, standing at six feet, is a figure many young girls admire—literally.
Societal norms have conditioned us to associate height with power and privilege. Studies have shown that taller individuals often earn higher salaries, and in the political arena, tall men have historically been favored as leaders. Of the 45 presidents in U.S. history, only six were below average height, the last being Jimmy Carter, who was elected four decades ago.
Reflecting on Mia’s situation, I realized she wasn’t alone. While she felt out of place due to her height, I wondered about other children who felt different in various ways. As we nurture the next generation, it has never been more crucial to instill self-confidence and self-worth in our children, especially young girls.
Ultimately, I could have preached the benefits of being small until I was blue in the face, but what Mia truly needed was a lesson in self-acceptance. “Focus on being the best version of Mia,” I often reminded her.
While I certainly didn’t want to instill false confidence, my approach was straightforward: help her refrain from comparing herself to others—physically, socially, or academically—and instead, concentrate on her own journey.
I’ll admit, shifting her mindset was challenging, but as time passed, it became easier because I began to model that behavior myself. Mia observes me closely, noting how I prepare for my day. There were instances when I told her I needed to wear my heels for a meeting, inadvertently suggesting that height equates to success. Now at 35, I’m actively working to reshape my perspective, aiming to level the playing field between tall and short.
We never discussed growth hormone treatments with our pediatrician, but both Mia and my younger daughter, Zoe, could potentially qualify for FDA-approved synthetic human growth hormone. While this option may suit some families, it wasn’t one we considered. I believed that if I could teach Mia to embrace her uniqueness early on, she would never perceive her height as a disadvantage.
If you have a young daughter or son who society labels as too short, engage them in conversations about self-acceptance, highlight their strengths, and celebrate their individuality. You might be surprised to learn that shorter individuals can achieve better “rotational acceleration,” making them excel in sports like gymnastics, diving, and skating. Though Mia measures about three inches below the growth curve for her age, my hope is that she will carry a confidence that matches her worth, standing tall in the knowledge that she is deserving of life’s best gifts and opportunities, regardless of her size.
Originally published on Home Insemination Kit, this piece serves as a reminder of the importance of nurturing self-acceptance in our children. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, visit this excellent resource and explore essential tips for traveling with your baby here. To learn about home insemination options, check out this insightful post.
Summary
This article discusses the author’s journey in teaching her daughter, Mia, to embrace her height and self-worth in a society that often equates height with power. By emphasizing the advantages of being small and encouraging self-acceptance, the author aims to instill confidence in her daughter as she navigates childhood challenges.