Interestingly, I never received any negative attention during those early days. Living in a suburb of New York City, I was aware that public breastfeeding wasn’t commonplace, yet I felt at ease and never faced harassment. This confidence was put to the test during a trip upstate when my daughter was six months old.
We chose a modest Subway for lunch, and while waiting for our sandwiches, she needed to nurse. I lifted my shirt and began, feeling secure in my secluded booth. But then, an employee shouted from across the restaurant: “Excuse me, ma’am, you can’t do that here.”
I was taken aback. “What do you mean?” I asked. She explained that while she understood breastfeeding, I was not allowed to do it in the establishment. “You can go to the restroom if you want to continue. People are eating here,” she insisted, pointing to the one other customer whose back was turned to me. “That’s indecent exposure,” she added.
Typically outspoken, I found myself at a loss for words. I managed to mention my legal right to breastfeed in public, but she continued to argue. Feeling violated, I left the restaurant.
Even years later, I vividly recall the shame and fear I felt in that moment. I was fully clothed, yet her words made me feel exposed. Although I knew no one else was watching, it felt as though the entire world was judging me.
I feel a lingering embarrassment as I recount this story—not for what was said, but for my inability to stand up for myself. I later wrote to Subway and received an apology. They assured me they would educate their staff on breastfeeding rights and even sent me a coupon for free sandwiches. However, despite this support, I never regained the comfort I once had in public breastfeeding.
That experience shifted my perspective. While I continued to nurse without hesitation, I became acutely aware of my surroundings, my clothing choices, and how much skin was visible when my baby unlatched.
After this incident, I grew passionate about breastfeeding advocacy and became a certified lactation consultant. I often discuss how our society sexualizes breasts to the extent that breastfeeding is viewed as shameful or inappropriate. Although 49 states have laws protecting a mother’s right to breastfeed in public, the lack of enforcement leaves many vulnerable to harassment.
I encourage women to report any incidents of public breastfeeding harassment and to participate in nurse-ins to normalize breastfeeding. We must create an environment that supports breastfeeding mothers with the information and encouragement they deserve.
Yet, no amount of activism can restore the innocence I lost that day. Women face harassment regularly while breastfeeding, and many choose to forgo public nursing due to fear. Some use covers, others pump milk, and many wean their babies earlier than intended to avoid discomfort.
As a lactation consultant, I never dictate whether mothers should or shouldn’t breastfeed in public. I respect each woman’s feelings regarding body image and shame. I wish I could assure mothers that public nursing would always be accepted, but the reality is that harassment remains a concern.
This isn’t just a breastfeeding issue; it’s a matter of human dignity and rights. It’s unacceptable in today’s society to feel hesitant about nursing openly. It’s time for change.
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In summary, the struggle for public acceptance of breastfeeding continues, and it is crucial to foster a culture that supports all mothers.