Acknowledging one’s true self is often considered the first step toward healing and liberation, even if it means facing societal backlash. While I have been relatively open with my close circle about my unconventional lifestyle, I have yet to fully share this aspect of my life publicly. So here it goes: I am a sober vegetarian, and I have been for over 15 years.
This path has not been smooth for anyone involved. My family, friends, and even the unsuspecting event planners have faced challenges in understanding and accommodating my choices. Their efforts are invaluable, but I can’t shake the feeling of isolation—not from missing out on barbecues or alcoholic drinks, but from the struggle of openly admitting my lifestyle to the world and managing the subsequent awkwardness.
At social gatherings, I often find myself navigating a minefield of questions and assumptions. The act of politely declining cocktails, beers, and meat-filled appetizers often leads to uncomfortable interactions. Sometimes, I wish I could simply stand up and declare, “I’m a sober vegetarian!” followed by an explanation. Instead, I often resort to pouring grape juice into my wine glass and feigning a loss of appetite to sidestep the entire scenario.
There are always those who insist on offering me meaty dishes, suggesting that I simply pick off what I don’t want. In my more vengeful moments, I imagine serving them a tofu-laden appetizer and encourage them to do the same. Yet, I ultimately choose tranquility, keeping those thoughts to myself.
Moreover, it’s not just the staunch meat-eaters who try to “save” me. I’ve lost count of how many drinks I’ve poured out, trying to be courteous to those who use alcohol as a social lubricant or for celebratory toasts. To anyone I’ve inadvertently offended by discarding those drinks, I offer my sincerest apologies.
I understand that honesty is crucial, and I realize it may seem childish to not just go along with the crowd. However, attempting to refuse outright often leads to long and awkward interrogations about my dietary choices. Somehow, I find myself hearing medical justifications for why I should consume meat or alcohol, as if I am in denial about my health.
For the past 15 years, I’ve lived with the shame that many sober vegetarians know all too well. It feels as though the facade I’ve maintained has finally caught up with me. I’ve taken a step back, evaluated my choices, and come to terms with the inconveniences my lifestyle has posed to those around me. Thus, I find it necessary to clear my conscience.
To the waitstaff I’ve inadvertently wronged by placing meatless orders, I apologize for any confusion I may have caused. I also forgive my friends and family who continually suggest vegetarian options at restaurants that barely offer side salads. Additionally, I release the guilt I have felt over sneaking tofu into meals for significant others, all in hopes of converting them to my way of eating.
I sincerely apologize to my neighbors for the times I’ve tricked their senses into believing I was grilling meat by using steak sauce on eggplant and veggie burgers. And to my Super Bowl party guests, I hope you can forgive me for enjoying your revelry while you indulged in non-alcoholic drinks and meatless wings. Lastly, to my closest friends whom I’ve entertained with strong, yet innocent drinks, I can only hope you forgive me for the hangovers and the embarrassing photos I’ve shared.
Fifteen years is a long time to live in secrecy and shame. I recognize that the awkwardness my friends and family might feel around me won’t vanish overnight. It will take time. But with their understanding and support, I can finally say, “My name is Lila, and I’m a sober vegetarian, and I’m proud of it.”
If you’re considering alternative paths to parenthood, this article on at-home insemination is an excellent resource. For more information, check out this link. Additionally, those curious about the challenges and journeys of others in similar situations can find valuable insights at Intracervical Insemination’s page. For comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, Women’s Health provides an excellent resource.
In summary, embracing my identity as a sober vegetarian has not only been a personal journey but also a social challenge. While I navigate the complexities of social interactions and the expectations of others, I am learning to accept and celebrate my choices.