Updated: Sep. 17, 2021
My pre-teen has been eager to join a soccer team for years, but this is the first time we actually took the plunge and signed her up before the fall season. Sure, shopping for her cleats, shin guards, and more soccer shorts than she’ll ever need was exciting, but when we arrived at the first practice, reality hit me hard: This is my little girl. There’s a whole range of emotions I need to process.
Half the team is new, while the other half are returning players. I can’t help but worry: will they include her? Will she grasp the rules quickly? Most importantly, will she enjoy herself? I don’t foresee myself being the competitive soccer mom yelling from the sidelines about her defensive skills. In fact, I’d probably be the one cheering the loudest—even if she accidentally runs the wrong way with the ball. My own experience with soccer lasted a single season. I quickly learned that I despised running and preferred to pick dandelions instead of focusing on the game. My parents still chuckle about that.
Unlike her previous activities like gymnastics and ballet, this is her first team sport, requiring her to collaborate with others. My anxieties stem partly from my own not-so-great experiences with team sports. While there are important lessons to learn—like teamwork, communication, and building confidence—my fears often take over, making me think of all the ways things could go wrong.
I Want Her to Find True Friends, Not Frenemies
Mean girls are not just a fictional trope; they exist in the real world, often hiding behind passive-aggressive remarks. My daughter and her friends are still figuring out what healthy relationships look like. They genuinely want to be friends with everyone, spreading kindness wherever they go. But let’s be real—kids can be so impressionable, and sometimes the negativity comes from the adults around them.
Team sports are all about collaboration, but egos often clash. Some players want to be the fastest or score the most goals. All I want is for my daughter to have fun and make genuine friends—not the kind who pretend to be nice but gossip when they think no one is listening. Yes, Karen, I heard your comments about the snacks not being organic!
Learning a new sport and working together will undoubtedly have its challenges. Still, there should always be space for friendship and enjoyment. While I may be overly cautious, I don’t foresee her becoming a World Cup contender anytime soon. It’s crucial for the kids to work hard, but they shouldn’t feel stressed or pressured to the point of being unkind.
Fun Should Always Be the Priority
The moment she stops enjoying soccer will be the moment she wants to quit. I remember what it was like to be pushed into activities, and it never got better; I still recall how much I disliked it even a decade later. I want to ensure my daughter has a different experience.
Whatever hobby she chooses should bring her joy, not stress. Yes, some stress is a normal part of life, but she will face enough of that with school and navigating social dynamics as she enters middle school and beyond. If she engages in a team sport or any activity, it should be because she genuinely wants to, not because she feels obligated.
Though it’s still early to gauge how she’ll adapt to team sports, everything is looking promising so far. I might just be preparing for the worst-case scenario, but the fact that she’s eagerly counting down to her next practice is a good sign. Here’s hoping that soccer becomes everything she wishes it to be and more. Whether her team thrives or faces hurdles, as long as she’s having fun, that’s a victory for me.
For more insights on parenting and sports, check out this article on our blog.
Summary:
In this reflective piece, Jessica Lawson shares her journey into becoming a soccer mom, highlighting her hopes and anxieties about her daughter’s first experience with team sports. While she reminisces about her own less-than-stellar experience with soccer, she emphasizes the importance of fun and friendship over competition. Ultimately, she hopes her daughter finds joy in the game and forms real connections with her teammates.
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