I’m expecting my second child—another boy! After this, my family will be complete, and I couldn’t be more pleased about it. However, I’ve come to realize that I’ll likely spend a lot of time reassuring others about my feelings on the matter.
Gender disappointment is a genuine experience for many, but it’s something I don’t relate to. Instead, I’m filled with gender joy. I’m over the moon about having a healthy baby, and I’m grateful to have survived the first trimester, which felt like a hangover—minus the fun of tequila.
Most of my friends understand my excitement about becoming a mother of two boys. They know how challenging my journey has been to reach this point, but that’s a story for another day. Strangers, on the other hand, often don’t seem to get it. At just 17 weeks along, I’ve already had the same conversation countless times. (For the record, I may look further along than I am due to a few physical changes and perhaps too many pastries.) Here’s a typical exchange:
Stranger: Is this your first?
Me: No, I have a son.
Stranger: Do you know what you’re having this time?
Me: Another boy!
Stranger [smile fading]: “Oh! Well, that’s fine, right? Boys are fun. Maybe you’ll have a girl next time!”
Why wasn’t I prepared for this? While I understand that people mean well, I dread having these conversations over the coming months. Even more so, I’m not looking forward to years of clarifying that we’re done having kids and are perfectly content without a girl.
What about all those mothers of boys who have raised their sons into adulthood? Are they still asked if having all boys is acceptable? One acquaintance, upon hearing the news about my second son, remarked: “Congrats! But you’ll end up alone; boys don’t care for their parents as they age.” I waited for a punchline that never came. She was serious.
Here’s a little secret: I always wanted two boys. I already know the ins and outs of changing diapers, and I embrace the chaos that little boys bring, from their boisterous antics to their sweet moments. I’m excited that my son will have a brother to grow up with. Sure, any gender combination would have been wonderful, but I’m genuinely happy with the family I’m creating.
Yet, it seems society expects me to yearn for a girl. Honestly, people need to understand: Yes, I’m having two boys! No, we didn’t try for a girl. Yes, raising two boys is a handful, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. No, we’re not planning to have a third child—unless you want to hear my fertility story? No, I’m not interested in your home remedies for conceiving a girl. Yes, we have a lot of toy trucks (but who knows? Brother number two might just love princesses!).
And yes, I have nieces who enjoy things like Frozen, so I can get my fill of that whenever I want. It’s great that you know someone who had a girl after two boys, but that’s not my path. I don’t dislike girls, nor do I have a strained relationship with my mother—I actually idolize her! I’m just a proud boy mama, and that’s perfectly fine with me.
I hope I won’t spend my life defending my situation. Instead, I wish to focus on being grateful for my two healthy boys, teaching them the values of kindness, respect, and maybe how to bake cookies. While my friends enjoy mother-daughter outings, I’ll happily join in to pour mimosas for the moms—or just enjoy a well-deserved sleep-in, because boys do love to sleep in, right? Right?! Please say yes.
For those navigating similar paths, resources like this artificial insemination kit provide valuable insights, and this experience with home insemination shares experiences worth exploring. If you’re looking for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, this WebMD resource is an excellent resource to check out.
In summary, while society may have expectations about gender preferences, I celebrate the joy of having two boys and cherish the family I’m building.