As I navigate my 40s, I find myself reflecting on the prevalent idea that women our age are supposed to be carefree and unconcerned with societal expectations. While I proudly identify with this sentiment, it’s essential to clarify that I still care about many important aspects of my life.
I celebrate the fact that women in their 40s are shedding the insecurities that plagued us in our younger years. We’ve reached a point where we understand our preferences, our passions, and what truly annoys us. We’re confident in our choices as parents and ready to tackle whatever challenges come our way.
Gone are the days when we worried excessively about our well-worn yoga pants or whether we attended every school event. We’ve learned to distance ourselves from toxic friendships and embrace our bodies, whether they bear signs of motherhood or show the results of rigorous workouts.
But now what?
Letting go of unnecessary stress is liberating. It has opened up space in my life to focus on what truly matters. Here’s what I’m committing my energy to now:
Making a Positive Impact
I understand that saying I want to make the world a better place can sound cliché, but it resonates deeply with me. In my younger years, I had lofty ideals about changing the world. I volunteered for various causes, believing that larger forces would manage societal issues effectively.
However, having three daughters shifted my perspective. Issues like education, health care, and gender equality became increasingly personal. As they grow older and prepare to enter the world, I feel an urgent need to advocate against gun violence, racism, and sexual assault. I refuse to shy away from expressing my beliefs, no matter the backlash.
Prioritizing My Health
For years, I fixated on the aesthetics of my body, but my 40s have brought a much-needed shift in focus. I’ve come to value functionality over appearance. Healthy living has become my priority; strength and well-being matter more than fitting into a size 2. I prioritize sleep, exercise, and nutrition, but I still indulge in cocktails and chocolate because balance is key. At this stage, I truly don’t care if I gain a few pounds.
Nurturing Meaningful Relationships
I’m still learning to let go of relationships that drain me. If it means having a smaller circle of friends, I’m okay with that. My commitment to the relationships that matter most is stronger than ever, especially as my eldest daughter prepares to enter high school. It’s crucial that we understand each other better now than ever.
As my daughters continue to grow, my husband and I will eventually be left to focus solely on each other. Strengthening our marriage is a priority, as is fostering connections with my parents, sister, and close friends.
Taking Charge of My Life
With my children becoming more independent, I find myself with the opportunity to focus on my own needs and interests. It’s time to evaluate and eliminate obligations that no longer fulfill me. Whether it’s returning to full-time work or pursuing my passion for surfing, I am taking charge of my own happiness.
Embracing My Authentic Self
For too long, I suppressed parts of myself that I deemed unacceptable or embarrassing. It’s time wasted, really. We all have flaws, and it’s essential to acknowledge both our weaknesses and strengths. I’m anxious, deeply passionate, and need my alone time. Embracing these traits has been liberating, and I’m pleased to find that those who care about me accept me as I am.
Realizing that I no longer care about certain people and situations has been one of the most empowering lessons of my 40s. Defining what truly matters to me and working to achieve it is exhilarating.
So, what will you do with your remaining fucks?
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