It was an unusual evening. Both of our children went to bed without a fuss, settling down peacefully in their own room. By 8 p.m., we had a rare stretch of time free from parental duties. Sure, we could have tackled some chores or caught up on our series binge on Hulu. I could have easily succumbed to the fatigue of my nearing third trimester and fallen asleep while my partner relaxed with the television.
But that night, we chose to prioritize each other. I opted to stay awake with my partner rather than sneak in an extra hour of sleep. We closed the bedroom door and took our time, savoring each moment together without haste. Afterward, we lay entwined in the sheets, still catching our breath from the intimacy we just shared. My partner turned to me, propped his head on his hand, and asked, “Can I share something with you?”
He knew I would say yes. Always yes. I’m open to anything he wants to share.
Gently brushing a strand of hair from my face, he continued, “In my previous experiences with your pregnancies, I often dreaded the end. While I was thrilled to welcome our children, I was saddened knowing that with the conclusion of your pregnancy would come your struggle with self-esteem. When you’re pregnant, you exude confidence, as if your body’s purpose gives you worth. I always felt a sense of loss knowing that you would revert to feeling unattractive. I found myself longing for that confident version of you that flourished during pregnancy.”
He elaborated, “But this time is different. I’m not worried. You’ve grown so much in how you view yourself. You’ve embraced your body and radiate a sense of health and beauty that I find incredibly attractive. I know I won’t lose this version of you when our daughter arrives. You’ve finally recognized the beauty of your body, and that’s what I’ve always seen.”
His words filled me with a pride I can’t fully articulate.
He was right. I have come to appreciate my body just as he has. He values me for so much more than my appearance, and that realization helped me learn to love myself as well.
Everything shifted for me when I decided to stop viewing my body as an adversary.
My body isn’t my enemy; it’s been my ally, carrying me through life’s greatest joys and deepest sorrows. I was not in a battle; I was merely existing, and yet I tormented myself because I viewed my fuller figure as a sign of inadequacy.
Despite being healthy, I subjected myself to harsh criticism, viewing my body as foreign and unworthy. I tried relentlessly to reshape it into something thinner, but every attempt ended in failure and self-loathing.
To overcome my negative self-image, I confronted my internalized biases about body size. I had accepted the damaging belief that individuals with larger bodies are less intelligent or attractive. A painful realization dawned: I was complicit in that narrative by harboring those beliefs about myself.
I released that toxic mindset and dedicate myself to moving forward every day.
I was surprised to learn how supportive my partner was, cherishing me deeply even through my struggles. He has celebrated every part of me, regardless of my size. I’ve always felt his love, but I never understood the depth of his admiration—until now.
My body may not match a magazine cover, but it’s an integral part of who I am. It has nurtured both of our sons and is currently cradling our daughter. My partner knows my innermost fears and insecurities, confident that I will always safeguard his secrets. My heart is honored to support him through his pain, ensuring he never feels alone. Years ago, I committed myself to our partnership, and I have fulfilled that role wholeheartedly. I deserve to feel like an exceptional wife, partner, and lover.
This man adores me—mind, spirit, and body. Especially my body.
We have been together exclusively. Almost daily, he reminds me of my allure.
I always believed he found me irresistible, but I didn’t comprehend what he saw in me. Now, I understand.
We share our bodies joyfully, without reservations or self-criticism. The lights can stay on, and I no longer feel the need to hide my perceived flaws. In fact, I hardly see flaws anymore. I feel worthy of his admiration and affection.
This shift has transformed everything.
Our intimacy has intensified—it’s undeniably hotter. The experience of feeling attractive has made our connection even more fulfilling. I thought our relationship was wonderful before, but the last few years have brought an entirely new level of joy.
Our conflicts are fewer because I’m no longer mired in misery. I don’t feel undeserving of my space anymore. I no longer shy away from activities because of my size. I’ve stopped concealing my body, whether by pulling blankets over my stomach or using pillows as shields when we sit together. It’s been ages since I forced myself into a restrictive diet, setting myself up for disappointment. Instead, I’m simply happier.
My partner no longer needs to reassure me of my beauty; I now see myself through his eyes. When he stops me in the store to spin me around and kiss me, I feel I deserve that moment. I’m not concerned about who might not see what he sees in me. I recognize it, and that’s all that matters.
What began as a journey toward self-love has blossomed into something much greater. Embracing body positivity has reshaped my worldview. I’ve become a better mother, a more self-assured woman, and a more confident writer. Most importantly, it has infused my marriage with happiness, peace, and a renewed passion. The process of unlearning years of negative messaging about larger bodies was challenging, but every ounce of effort has been worth it.
I’m incredibly happy in this space.
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In summary, accepting my body has profoundly enriched my marriage, enhancing intimacy and happiness. The journey toward self-love has transformed my perspective on life, making me a better partner, mother, and individual.