As I approach my 40th birthday, I can confidently say that I have zero cares left to give about the opinions of others. It’s a liberating realization.
Reflecting on My Teenage Years
Reflecting on my teenage years, I had a reputation for being unapologetically myself. Growing up in a high-achieving community, I was the outsider—living in an apartment with my single mother, who encouraged me to challenge authority. I embraced my individuality through my hippie style, poetry, and passionate debates about politics and women’s rights in history class. I even graduated early to escape the confines of suburban life and face the world head-on.
Struggles Beneath the Surface
However, beneath that tough exterior, I grappled with vulnerability. I struggled with my body image and dealt with an anxiety disorder that I didn’t confront until later. College was a tumultuous journey—switching schools, changing majors, and figuring out how to navigate adulthood. I eventually found my footing, got married, and became financially stable.
The Challenges of Motherhood
Starting a family in my late 20s introduced a new set of challenges and anxieties. I was often worried about my children’s well-being and felt a heightened sensitivity to criticism. But now, with a decade of motherhood behind me and 40 on the horizon, I’ve finally embraced the confident, no-nonsense woman I aspired to be in my youth.
Finding Resilience
It feels incredible. Life still throws curveballs, and I still experience moments of vulnerability, but I’ve learned how to handle them. Four decades of life experiences have equipped me with the resilience to face challenges head-on. I can evaluate what serves me and discard what doesn’t.
The Importance of Healthy Relationships
Aging has taught me the importance of surrounding myself with the right people. I’m done with toxic relationships and codependency. I used to believe I could “fix” others, but I’ve learned that it’s detrimental to everyone involved. Establishing boundaries has been a game changer for me. I no longer feel obligated to say “yes” to every request, whether it’s work obligations or my child’s endless demands for an Xbox. In fact, I’ve come to appreciate the power of “no”—it’s a valuable tool we should all wield more often.
Shifting My Perspective on Self-Advocacy
Most importantly, I’ve shifted my perspective on self-advocacy. I no longer feel the need to prove my worth to others. I am in control of my own life; I determine my value. While there are aspects of my life that I wish were different, I understand that many variables are beyond my control. What I can control is my mindset, and I’m grateful for the clarity that comes with aging.
Looking Forward to 40
Turning 40 signifies a new chapter for me. I’m excited for the future and eager to continue living life on my own terms, with absolutely no regrets. If you’re looking for guidance on fertility, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, reaching my 40s has been a transformative experience. I’ve embraced my independence, established healthy boundaries, and learned to appreciate life’s journey, flaws and all.