Five weeks ago, I began my journey towards food freedom. I am currently working with a registered dietitian who focuses on intuitive eating rather than intentional weight loss for a 12-week program.
I reached this point of prioritizing food freedom over dieting after realizing that every diet or “lifestyle change” I attempted only increased my anxiety and obsession with food. My fixation on eating didn’t lead to sustainable weight loss; instead, each new regimen brought me to a point of burnout where I could no longer continue. These experiences not only left me heavier but also deepened my struggles with food and my body image.
After careful thought, I made the decision to stop pursuing weight loss. I’ve tried nearly every diet under the sun, so I figured it was time to explore intuitive eating.
Food freedom is exactly what it sounds like—the ability to enjoy food without guilt or shame. It’s about allowing yourself to eat what you enjoy instead of adhering to the “shoulds” imposed by diet culture. This means letting go of arbitrary food rules that dictate whether you’ve been “good” or “bad” based on your eating choices. With food freedom, you learn to see food and eating as neutral, not moral issues.
In theory, it seems simple: trusting your body to guide you on when to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, and knowing when you’re full. This is something many people do naturally, especially as children, before being influenced by diet culture.
However, for someone like me, it’s a lot more challenging. I’ve spent my life being told that I eat too much and exercise too little. Many health issues I face, such as lipedema, polycystic ovarian syndrome, and endometriosis, were often dismissed with the advice to simply “lose weight.” Now, as I approach 40, I find myself struggling with how to eat. I haven’t trusted my body in a long time, and learning to do so again is surprisingly difficult. I often sit with uncomfortable emotions, reflecting on them rather than resorting to binge eating or emotional eating for comfort.
These days, I have to be more mindful about my actions and motivations, managing my expectations and addressing fears like, “What if I just keep gaining weight?” At the same time, I celebrate small victories—every day I avoid binge eating or honor my hunger is a win. It’s challenging, and I frequently second-guess myself, but my dietitian reassures me that this is part of the normal process. This journey requires time, and it’s helpful to reflect on how dieting has negatively impacted me in the past.
While none of this is easy, I’ve come to realize that it’s completely normal. Food freedom isn’t a magical solution; some days, it’s downright exhausting.
People have shown curiosity about my journey, and I understand that many want to see if this approach “works” for me. It’s easy to view food freedom as another diet, but it’s more accurate to think of it as a form of diet rehab. Others are concerned whether I’ll stick with this new approach or revert to binge-restrict cycles, and there are still questions about whether I’ll consider surgical options like gastric bypass.
Although I’ve thought about surgery, I know that I need to confront my issues rather than opt for a surgical diet. I don’t blame others for their curiosity; those of us with bodies like mine are often seen on reality TV. Not everyone knows someone classified as “morbidly obese” or “super fat,” and given our society’s weight bias, it’s not surprising that people are curious about bodies they don’t understand. If something works for someone my size, it raises questions for many.
However, I’m in the midst of my journey—the messy part. Unlike the headlines featuring celebrities like Adele who have lost significant weight, I refuse to follow restrictive diets that leave me feeling deprived. I’ve been down that road before, and I never achieved the weight loss I desired; often, I ended up regaining even more.
In the past, I felt like a failure for falling into binge-restrict cycles. Now, my dietitian explains that these cycles are common side effects of intentional weight loss, and many people struggle with similar issues. We’re not lazy or lacking willpower; we’re just human, and often a little burnt out.
People ask how much weight I’ve lost through this process, but I no longer track it—I’ve given up my scale. Are my clothes looser? Not necessarily. I am focusing instead on rebuilding trust in my body and breaking the cycles of restriction and bingeing.
As for what I’m eating, it varies. My mood influences my choices, and I’m on a mission to discover what I genuinely enjoy. I lean towards flexitarian and pescatarian options. I’ve been enjoying meals from Splendid Spoon and Daily Harvest because they taste great and make me feel good. I still love fish, especially Ortiz tuna, and I’ve recently enjoyed lemon dill salmon burgers from my local grocery store.
I keep my meals straightforward: breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with a small snack if I’m hungry. Typically, I include some protein, carbohydrates, and colorful fruits or vegetables. There are no strict rules—just no stress.
For example, yesterday I had stuffed salmon for breakfast along with banana bread. For lunch, I enjoyed a veggie soup from Daily Harvest, Greek yogurt, and more banana bread. For dinner, I shared a vegan meal with my daughter, checking in with myself about my hunger and fullness levels. I went to bed feeling satisfied—not because I adhered to a calorie count or restricted any food groups, but because I had navigated my day without obsessing over food.
I woke up feeling great—hungry, sure, but not ravenous. After dropping my daughter off at school, I had a salmon patty and more banana bread, followed by a Splendid Spoon soup for lunch. Dinner might be green pepper pizza or something homemade like roasted carrots, toast, and fish. I might even treat myself to dessert.
No matter what I choose, I’m confident it won’t trigger a binge or derail my progress. I’m learning to manage the emotions that cause me to feel out of control around food, and I’m happy to report that I feel more in control than ever.
One crucial lesson I’m learning is that overeating and binge eating are not the same thing. It’s natural for everyone to overeat sometimes, particularly as I learn to trust my body again. Before embracing food freedom, I conflated overeating with binge eating, blaming myself for a lack of willpower. A single bite too many would spiral into a binge, fueled by guilt and shame.
Now, thanks to my dietitian’s guidance, I feel empowered to break that cycle. Instead of resorting to food for comfort, I’m learning to explore and address my emotions, often tied to the pressures of diet culture.
I grew up believing that if I didn’t conform to the scale and rigid food rules, I was a failure. Embracing food freedom is transforming how I view myself and engage with food.
I’ve documented my struggles with food and body image for years, and it feels revolutionary to suggest that someone in my position can enjoy food without shame. Many diet books propagate the idea that if you gain weight, you must pay the price by restricting your intake.
It still feels strange to acknowledge that I have the right to enjoy my food. Trusting my body feels counterintuitive; the idea that I deserve kindness and acceptance without judgment based on my weight is a significant shift. It’s subversive, even.
Perhaps that’s what intrigues me most about food freedom. In a culture where dieting is a multi-million dollar industry, the concept of intuitive eating can be shocking. It challenges the notion that all issues faced by fat individuals are tied to their size. It’s a revelation to admit that dieting is often the culprit behind many of the problems we attribute to obesity.
Interestingly, many advocates for food freedom have backgrounds in treating eating disorders. I find much more value in learning from those who focus on healing relationships with food than from “experts” promoting restrictive diets.
It’s significant that those specializing in eating disorders often advocate for simple food choices rather than the complicated trends that dominate the dieting landscape. Anyone can tell you what to eat, but only you can determine what makes you feel your best. Food freedom is about giving yourself the space to discover that.
As I navigate food freedom, people are curious about what I eat, often expecting detailed food lists from a dieter’s perspective. However, my lists are rather simple and not strictly approved by any food police.
When I create a grocery list, I divide it into four sections. The top left is for protein, including favorites like fish, cheese, eggs, and Greek yogurt. The top right is for carbohydrates, such as crackers, bread, pasta, rice, quinoa, and potatoes. The bottom left is for fruits and vegetables. I’ve learned that if I want a salad, it’s better to just have one instead of overthinking it.
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In summary, my journey towards food freedom is a work in progress. I’m learning to trust my body and embrace intuitive eating while overcoming the ingrained habits and beliefs tied to dieting. This path allows for a more positive relationship with food, free of guilt and shame, as I navigate the complexities of my emotional connection to eating.