By: Mia Harper
Updated: June 17, 2020
Originally Published: June 7, 2018
In case you were wondering, I’m in an interracial marriage. Yes, it’s true. My husband and I have been navigating this journey together for 17 years. The other day, while scrolling through his Facebook page, I stumbled upon a cherished family photo. He recently updated his profile picture to a beautiful professional shot from our trip to Beaches Negril in 2016, where we all looked absolutely delightful. As I perused the comments to like the positive ones, I encountered a rather unpleasant remark.
Mia Harper
I noticed that comment and couldn’t help but react to the last part. Interracial marriage equates to “race mixing”? Interesting perspective.
Actual footage of me: Oh, thanks, Timmy. That’s a unique take. You really care about my husband’s “race mixing” in 2018? Your faux-support and views on our marriage are truly invaluable. Outside of Timmy appearing to lack social awareness—and possibly hygiene—I find it oddly comforting that he chose to express his disdain on my husband’s timeline.
Yes, I said comforting. Not because I’m overly positive, but because it sparks essential conversations. Especially in today’s racially charged environment—though let’s be honest, it’s always been tense.
Consider the pressing issues we face:
- Innocent Black individuals being unjustly killed by law enforcement.
- Everyday occurrences where Black people face police intervention for simply existing.
- Public demonstrations that promote hate and division.
- The normalized rhetoric of “All Lives Matter.”
- That troubling figure many voted into office.
After I shared the photo on my timeline, my friends responded with vigor. Outrage, disbelief, humor, and—most surprisingly—shock were prevalent. THIS is why I highlighted this interaction. Many remain astonished by overt racism, which contributes to the denial of more covert forms of discrimination.
While Timmy’s appearance resembled a mix of cartoonish characters and disheveled individuals, my friends felt empowered to confront him. It’s easy to critique the stereotypical image of a racist. But discussing systemic and institutional racism requires deeper reflection, which many seem reluctant to engage with.
For the most part, instances of racism I’ve encountered have come from more polished, educated individuals. It’s a sobering realization that overt expressions of racism often come from those who seem less refined. This discomfort is why many avoid confronting the more subtle, ingrained prejudices that exist within their circles.
People often don’t take action until the issue hits home. Smokers frequently don’t quit until a loved one suffers from cancer. Likewise, many don’t challenge racist behavior until it directly affects someone they care about. My social media community is predominantly Black, but I also have a fair share of white friends. While I hope they’re all aware, some might have voted for that infamous reality star and were likely raised to overlook racial differences.
Witnessing a friend—like me—face blatant racism on a public platform may inspire some to reevaluate their perceptions and acknowledge that racism is very much alive. The idea of a post-racial society is a myth. So, it’s crucial to TAKE ACTION! Speak up against injustices. Stand firm for what is right.
I barely know the individual who made this disparaging remark about my husband. After 17 years together, I’ve never crossed paths with Timmy, yet I’m thankful he revealed his true colors. It’s helpful to know who I’m dealing with. I have more respect for those who show their bigotry openly than for those who hide behind false smiles.
Moreover, Timmy could be connected to someone on my timeline—be it a brother, uncle, or colleague. Those who have a positive view of me may gain insight into the daily challenges faced by interracial couples, as well as Black and brown individuals everywhere. Awareness is key.
I typically avoid negativity and rarely express my grievances on social media or delve into contentious subjects. However, when it comes to race in America and its impact on my family, it’s essential for me to share. I want everyone—friends, acquaintances, and newcomers—to understand what I navigate in the current landscape.
A noteworthy point: it wasn’t until June 1967 that interracial marriage became legal in many places. That’s not too long ago, and some of your parents may have been alive when my marriage was still illegal. I encourage you to research anti-miscegenation laws. And while you’re at it, check out Raising An Advocate to ensure you don’t inadvertently raise the next Timmy.
In conclusion, facing overt racism, even in a casual online exchange, opens the door to discussions about the realities of race in America. It’s a reminder that change starts with us, and we must be vigilant in our advocacy for equality and justice.