As an Asian-American parent, I grapple with the complexities surrounding names and identity. For many people of color, particularly in the Asian community, names carry a weight of history and trauma. The struggle often lies in the challenge of having our names mispronounced or dismissed, leading to feelings of alienation. While I seldom faced this issue, I vowed to shield my children from such experiences.
Some parents opt to celebrate their heritage through their children’s names. I decided to prioritize my children’s well-being by giving them names associated with privilege, particularly my husband’s strong German surname. It’s undeniable that unconscious bias exists, and I want to mitigate the impact of systemic racism on my multiracial kids. With their appearance marking them as “other,” I believe that a name that conveys familiarity can offer them a slight advantage in a world rife with discrimination.
Why should my children’s names conform to a narrow view of ethnic identity? There’s no reason to assume that their external features must align with preconceived notions of what their names should be. My choice of names doesn’t erase their rich heritage; rather, it acknowledges their identity as both American and people of color. They embody an “and” rather than an “or.” They have full access to their cultural roots and will grow up with the understanding that they can embrace both sides of their identity.
Many Asian-American families navigate the dual naming tradition, often giving their children an American name alongside one that reflects their cultural background. This practice underscores the diverse ways in which identities can be expressed. My own kids have names that are meaningful in both cultures and respond to both without confusion—just as I did with my own names.
While some advocate for embracing the challenge of having unique names, I also understand the desire to protect one’s children from unnecessary hardship. It’s important to consider the impact of names and the biases that accompany them. The reality is that the beauty of their names should not be diminished by someone else’s inability to pronounce them correctly.
Ultimately, my children’s names are just as valid and meaningful as any others. We live in a society that often perpetuates the myth of white supremacy, and I refuse to let that dictate what my children’s identities should look like. They are Asian enough. They are American enough. They are enough simply by being who they are.
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Summary
: This article explores the complexities of naming children in an Asian-American family context. It addresses the trauma associated with names, the privilege that comes with having a common name, and the importance of embracing a dual identity. The author emphasizes that their children’s names do not erase their heritage but rather allow them to navigate both worlds. Ultimately, the message is one of acceptance and pride in all aspects of identity.