In the realm of parenting, one undeniable truth prevails: it takes a village. Whether it’s a friend swooping in to pick up my children from school when I’m stuck in traffic, neighbors delivering soup and Gatorade during a family flu bout, or a seasoned mother reassuring a newcomer that she’s doing well—support is invaluable. Let me tell you, motherhood can really knock the wind out of you. Therefore, a little assistance along the way is not just appreciated; at times, it’s absolutely essential.
However, there are moments when the “help” offered can be less than beneficial. In fact, it can be quite patronizing to a parent doing her utmost. Yes, I’m addressing you, LISA. You know exactly who you are. Do you recall seeing me and my three kids at the CVS last week? Yes, us at the pharmacy counter, where an insurance issue meant my children had to wait in the seating area while the staff resolved the matter.
This was the fourth errand of a long day, following stops at the dry cleaners, post office, and grocery store. And, of course, it was lunchtime. I have a four-year-old, so you can imagine the scene.
As I stood in line, I frequently glanced back, reminding them to sit quietly, use their inside voices, and keep their hands to themselves. The ten minutes felt long, but we managed. I apologize for holding up the line; I understand that can be frustrating. Yes, my kids can be a bit lively, especially after being cooped up in the car for so long. But they were not running amok; they were simply being kids, not misbehaved animals. So, you can imagine the mix of dismay and fury I felt when I discovered you had taken it upon yourself to discipline them during that time.
From your position at the back of the line, you must have thought it was appropriate to step in. My children informed me later that you had shushed them and told my boys to stop touching each other. Did you think I wasn’t handling the situation? Did you believe I needed your help? And, most importantly, did I ever request your intervention? It’s important to remember that you do not have the right to parent my children.
I genuinely appreciate offers of assistance. When my kids were younger, I welcomed help from store clerks or anyone who could hold the door while I maneuvered a massive stroller. However, let me be clear: you didn’t give birth to my children, so kindly back off, KAREN. Please refrain from instructing them to say “please” or “thank you,” or to stand still or be quiet.
Instead, it would be best if you sat down and kept quiet. You don’t know my kids, and it’s not your place to supervise them. As long as they aren’t harming anyone or themselves, there’s no reason for you to flaunt your parenting skills. I’m sure you’re a great mom, and your children probably do remarkable things. But if you disagree with my parenting style, that’s your choice. I’m not perfect, nor are my kids. But they have kind hearts and love each other deeply, which fills me with pride. We’re navigating this world just fine, really.
If you wish to extend a helping hand, I may accept it. But don’t ever discipline my children from the back of the line at CVS when I’m just out of earshot. I brought all three of those babies into the world, and if anyone is going to tell them to behave, it will be me. That responsibility belongs to me alone.
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Summary:
This article expresses the frustrations of a mother whose children were disciplined by a stranger during a challenging errand. It emphasizes the importance of parenting autonomy and the need for respect regarding how others manage their children. The author calls for understanding and support without overstepping boundaries, reminding readers that parenting is a personal journey.