When I reflect on my 15-year-old daughter’s early years, I often picture her as a charmingly intelligent little girl. Sure, she wasn’t the best sleeper, but overall, she was a relatively easy baby. As a toddler, I could simply place a basket of board books in front of her, and she would happily flip through them one by one. When asked about her younger days, I would describe her as sweet-natured, easygoing, and serene.
However, it appears that my recollections may not be entirely accurate. One day, while perusing a journal I kept of my thoughts during her infancy (ah, the perks of being a first-time mom), I stumbled upon a revealing line: “This child is the most strong-willed kid I’ve ever encountered.” Interesting. It seems my little angel had a touch of mischief in her after all.
As I continued reading, I realized that my memories of those early years were more faded than I’d like to admit. Yes, she could be sweet and calm, but she also had her fair share of tantrums, was a worse sleeper than I’d remembered, and could flat-out refuse to cooperate. Vivid memories began to resurface—her wriggling during diaper changes, the phase where she would scream for no reason in public, and the many exhausting nights spent wondering how anyone could function on just two hours of sleep. Those challenging moments had slipped my mind, overshadowed by a general sense of “Oh, those early years were tough.” I had clearly developed a case of momnesia—an inability to recall specific chapters in my parenting saga.
We all know that motherhood can take a toll on our memories. As time passes, our brainpower that would typically be allocated for storing long-term memories is diverted to answering our children’s endless questions, figuring out how to get catchy theme songs out of our heads, or managing the finances for extracurricular activities. Consequently, we forget a lot—both in the short and long term.
And let’s be honest; momnesia tends to worsen with each additional child. The chaotic days filled with newborn demands and toddler outbursts blend into a hazy memory of “Oh yes, those early days were challenging.” The only reason I remember as much as I do is that I diligently documented many of my experiences. If I hadn’t, I might still believe my firstborn was an absolute angel.
This is why I often question the claims made by older parents who insist their children never displayed certain behaviors. “My children never threw tantrums.” “My kids never barged into our room at night.” “My children never begged for things while shopping.” I’m sorry, but I have to call shenanigans on that. While it’s true that some children might not engage in specific behaviors due to luck, most parents with older kids can’t be fully trusted when recounting their experiences from those early years. Some may deny it, but I stand firm in this belief.
Just as women tend to forget the worst moments of childbirth, most mothers lose sight of the intricate details of their early parenting experiences. We often view those years through rose-tinted glasses, even when we think we’re being realistic. We may claim we remember the hard times, but those memories aren’t experienced in vivid detail—not like the mother who is currently navigating the challenges of nursing, diapering, and sleepless nights.
So, take the advice and experiences of older moms with a grain of salt, new mothers. While we may have some valuable insights and can serve as great sounding boards, if we start to claim that our children never exhibited certain behaviors, don’t panic or think your child is unusual. Just nod along and remember, we’re likely suffering from a case of momnesia—because we certainly won’t admit it.
In summary, motherhood can cloud our memories, often leading to a skewed perception of the past. New moms should take older moms’ recollections lightly, as many details may have faded into oblivion—or been entirely forgotten. If you want more information on parenting and related topics, check out these resources on fertility boosters for men, multivitamins for toddlers, and pregnancy guidance.