Parenting
Don’t Panic About Donor Breast Milk
by Jamie Carter
Updated: June 2, 2020
Originally Published: May 16, 2019
If you’ve ever had a newborn who has difficulty with formula while your breast milk supply dwindles, then you understand the overwhelming stress that comes with it. You would do anything to ease your baby’s discomfort.
When my twins transitioned to formula, their struggle was evident. They grunted, pushed, and cried, all while appearing utterly miserable. It left me feeling powerless and consumed with guilt. The decision to stop nursing was influenced by my twins’ early birth and their difficulty latching. Balancing the demands of two infants while maintaining a pumping routine was too much, leading to my dwindling supply and a wave of mom guilt.
We explored every option—changing formula brands, trying soy formula, gas drops, gripe water, the list goes on. Nothing alleviated their discomfort, and I was left second-guessing my choice to stop breastfeeding and feeling like a failure.
Then, a family member mentioned a Facebook group called Eats On Feets, where nursing mothers unite to help those in need of breast milk. With my pediatrician’s encouragement, I reached out in my local group, seeking some much-needed support. The response was overwhelming; I was touched by the generosity of nursing mothers willing to assist me.
My husband and I provided the donors with replacement bags for their milk, and we came away with a significant supply for our freezer—along with a sense of relief and gratitude. One mother even went out of her way to add extra pumping sessions to meet our twins’ needs, despite the challenges of her own nursing schedule. Her kindness exemplified the true spirit of motherhood, and I remain thankful for her generosity.
However, there will always be critics. When friends and family learned about my choice to feed my babies with donor milk, I faced ridicule and harsh comments. Terms like “dangerous,” “disgusting,” and “I would never do that” were thrown at me by those I held dear. Still, I chose to pursue informed breast milk sharing, knowing it was the right decision for my family.
According to Kara Thompson, childbirth educator and lactation manager at a local medical center, the milk bank provides pasteurized donor milk to help vulnerable infants in the NICU. Many mothers, however, are turning to community-driven solutions for breast milk. The Eats On Feets organization reports no documented cases of disease transmission or bacterial infection from informed milk sharing.
I’ve witnessed remarkable acts of kindness, with mothers traveling long distances with coolers of breast milk to help others in need. I’ve seen fellow moms make dietary adjustments to ensure the milk was suitable for babies with allergies. This community effort is nothing short of beautiful.
Some may label this practice as “weird” or “unnatural,” but to me, it represents a profound act of selflessness.
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Summary
Seeking donor breast milk can be a vital option for parents facing challenges with breastfeeding or formula feeding. Supported by communities and medical professionals, informed milk sharing offers a solution that, while met with skepticism, provides numerous benefits for the infant’s health.