I’m not referring to my physical head—rather, I mean the essence of who I am: my consciousness. From a young age, I’ve been someone who contemplates deeply. The idea of my mortality has always troubled me. Late at night, as I lie in bed, thoughts of death creep in, leaving me with an unsettling feeling in my stomach—a profound discomfort that has lingered since childhood. While I can now sleep in the dark, that sense of unease persists.
Is Fear of Death Rational?
To unpack my fear of death, I turned to the insights of renowned philosophers. One intriguing perspective comes from Dr. Samuel Mount, a professor at a prestigious university, who offers a compelling course on the subject of mortality. His discussions prompt essential questions about the nature of fear and when it is appropriate to feel it. For instance, fearing a lion in close proximity makes sense, but fearing a childhood toy does not.
Dr. Mount posits that for fear to be justified, three criteria must be met:
- The object of fear must be inherently negative or pose a potential threat.
- There must be a tangible likelihood of the feared event occurring. For example, living in a city like New York and fearing a lion attack seems irrational, while it would be quite rational on safari in Africa.
- There has to be uncertainty surrounding whether the threat will affect you.
Considering Dr. Mount’s framework, does fearing death hold water? It seems not. While fearing the process of dying—concerns about pain—is understandable, fearing the state of being dead itself is less rational. Death isn’t innately bad; it merely signifies the absence of experience. Moreover, death is not uncertain; we all know it is inevitable.
Can You Fear What You Won’t Experience?
This line of reasoning echoes a sentiment I’ve heard from others: “What’s there to fear? You won’t be around to feel it.” Logically, this makes sense, yet it doesn’t alleviate my anxiety. In fact, while I don’t dwell on mortality daily, when I do contemplate it, especially at night, that feeling of dread returns. Dr. Mount’s argument resonates with me intellectually, but it fails to quell the emotional turmoil.
Understanding My Disturbance
I realized that my discomfort stems not from the fear of death per se, but rather from the acknowledgment that my life will eventually end. That thought is unsettling. My existence is the most fundamental aspect of my being, something I take for granted. When I confront the reality of death, everything I know seems to unravel; my consciousness feels fragile and uncertain.
I don’t experience fear in the conventional sense, like I would regarding public speaking or a close encounter with a wild animal. Instead, I feel a profound disturbance. The concept that existence can cease at any moment is deeply unsettling.
Finding Comfort in Gratitude
While being told that I shouldn’t fear death doesn’t provide much solace, I have discovered that gratitude helps mitigate my distress. Recognizing that my existence is precious prompts appreciation for the life I have—every experience, every moment. Thus, when thoughts of death arise, my unease is tempered by feelings of gratitude.
Dr. Mount concludes his lectures with a similar sentiment: “The appropriate emotional response isn’t fear or anger; it’s gratitude for the opportunity to be alive.”
In exploring the complexities of mortality, I’ve found that embracing life with gratitude can help ease the weight of existential dread.