Lifestyle
Talking to Kids About Suicide and Mental Illness
At age 14, I faced a significant crisis in my life when I attempted to end my own life. This was not my first attempt, but it was the first time I fully understood the gravity of my actions. My initial experience with suicidal thoughts began at the tender age of 8, during a period marked by chronic insomnia. My mother, like many parents would, felt helpless as she tried various methods to help me sleep—warm milk, soothing music, calming baths—all in vain. Eventually, during sleepless nights, she would tuck me into the couch, away from my slumbering sister, and leave me with a book and a small drink of peach schnapps, instructing me to “sip very, very slowly” before heading to bed herself.
I didn’t recognize my own depression, nor did anyone around me. Most days, I returned home from school in tears, yet I appeared to be a generally happy child. My inability to sleep weighed heavily on me. On that fateful night, exhausted and despondent, I equated sleep with death and found myself in the kitchen with my mother’s largest knife pressed against my chest. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, but ultimately, fear stopped me from going through with it. Thankfully, my aversion to pain saved me that night.
Now, as a parent, I find myself confronting the same fears my mother must have felt. My children are approaching the age when I first experienced deep depression, and the thought of not understanding their inner struggles is daunting. By the time I had a vocabulary to express my feelings around 12 or 13, the signs of distress I was showing had become so intertwined with my identity that they were nearly imperceptible. Was I simply shy? Or was I a child who found school uninspiring? I don’t hold my parents accountable for not recognizing these cues; depression often compels individuals to conceal their suffering.
The reality is that children as young as 8 can take their own lives. In fact, suicide ranks as the second leading cause of death for individuals between the ages of 10 and 18. Recognizing the signs of mental health struggles in children is crucial, but often there are no clear indicators until it’s too late.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I wish my parents had openly discussed mental illness with me. I longed for them to reassure me that it’s natural to struggle and that one’s brain can become unwell without it being anyone’s fault. I wished they had normalized therapy by sharing their own experiences or providing me with literature about children who sought help long before I needed it myself. I wanted them to communicate that having dark thoughts doesn’t make me a monster, and that sharing them could be the first step to healing.
As I strive to have these conversations with my own children, it’s a challenge. It’s difficult to explain my invisible illness and the family history of mental health issues. But I recognize that these discussions are vital—far less painful than the thought of losing one of my children.
No matter your history with mental health, it’s essential to talk openly with your children. Help them understand that feelings of hopelessness, boredom, or anger are normal but that they can seek help if these feelings persist. Assure them they should never feel ashamed of mental health challenges. Let them know that depression is a significant global issue and that reaching out for help is not only okay but necessary.
Educate yourself on the warning signs of depression and suicide and engage in these critical conversations with your children before a crisis arises. Most importantly, listen to them—your support could be the lifeline they need.
For additional resources on mental health and support, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination and consider exploring how to forge friendships as a new mom with insights from this authority on the topic.
Ultimately, we can all play a part in #StopSuicide. September 5 to 11 marks National Suicide Prevention Week, a time to reflect and educate ourselves.
Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of discussing mental health and suicide with children. It highlights the author’s personal experiences with depression from a young age and advocates for open conversations about mental illness. It stresses the significance of recognizing warning signs, offering support, and encouraging children to seek help without shame.