By: Mia Thompson
As a new parent, I found myself completely unprepared for the whirlwind of challenges that came with raising children. It felt like I was an amateur circus performer, frantically juggling my two little ones alongside my equally bewildered partner, Tom. While we balanced demanding careers, we tossed our kids back and forth, praying that nothing would come crashing down.
Looking back, I can now say that those chaotic early years weren’t as bad as I thought. Somehow, we managed to survive when our kids seemed determined to explore every danger imaginable. I honed my problem-solving skills as I saved the day time and again.
Fast forward a few years, and we now have two well-adjusted teenage daughters. While they occasionally misplace their house keys and require a last-minute rescue, they’ve also become relatively independent. They sleep in late on weekends, can pack their own bags, and are capable of preparing simple meals like sandwiches or canned soup. They mostly prefer hanging out with their peers, needing only minimal supervision.
At this stage in our lives, my husband and I are fortunate that our kids need us less and less. We could easily continue to swoop in and solve their minor dilemmas, but we all know the pitfalls of over-parenting competent children. As our daughters grow more self-sufficient, I’ve found myself with an unfulfilled desire to be a hero in someone’s life, and no one needs saving anymore. Instead of falling into the trap of over-parenting, I decided to embrace a new superhero identity of my own.
Surprisingly, this new identity doesn’t revolve around my children at all. When our daughters outgrew their early childhood years, Tom and I joined forces with other parents in the neighborhood to form a rock band.
Yes, you read that right! At the age of 40, we decided to dive into the world of music—not children’s music, but our own. Initially, we were far from impressive, more super lame than super. We attempted to cover old punk songs from our college days and pretended we were talented. I took on the role of lead singer, often straining to hit the right notes, while Tom played the simplest bass lines. Our stage attire was a mismatched collection, making us look like middle-aged wannabes trying to recapture their youth.
However, once we let go of the pressure to be perfect, our music journey transformed into a liberating outlet for self-expression. After a few years, we landed a gig at a birthday party in a middle school gym. As we set up our equipment and conducted a soundcheck, it hit me: we weren’t just pretending anymore. We had truly become a rock band.
Over time, we experimented with different band names and eventually recorded an album titled “Forget About Gravity.” We even managed to get on Spotify! I updated my wardrobe with black skinny jeans, a sequined tank top, and a faux leather jacket for performances. Engaging in this new identity has allowed me to reconnect with the part of myself that exists outside of being a teacher and a mom.
It’s important to note that I haven’t abandoned my responsibilities. I still maintain my role as a reliable middle school teacher and devoted mom, performing my duties with the precision of Clark Kent. Yet, as I carve out time for rehearsals, my superhero persona grows stronger. At the music studio, which is often messy and smells of old food, I refuse to clean up after anyone. During rehearsal or while performing at venues in the city, I’m simply a musician, free from parental duties.
As for Tom, we’ve evolved from merely sharing childcare duties to being creative partners, much like iconic duos Carly Simon and James Taylor or Sonny and Cher. We’ve rekindled that spark, and it feels like we’re dating again.
In our early days as musicians, our kids showed little interest in our music. They would politely listen for a moment before heading off to engage in their own activities. “It’s kinda loud, Mom,” they’d say with gentle smiles, “but you seem to be having fun.” And fun we were having! We cherish our family time, but we also value our individuality. While the girls pursue their interests, we eagerly pick up our instruments, ready to jam.
I firmly believe that more adults should create their own secret superhero identities. If you’re a music lover, consider starting a band of your own—you can even open for us at our next gig! Sure, you might not sound great at first, but remember, even superheroes must learn.
If music isn’t your passion, what else brings you joy? Silence the inner critic that tells you to conform, and listen to the voice that urges you to explore. Perhaps you love navigating new neighborhoods, or maybe you’re a talented knitter, poet, or aspiring pastry chef. You might dream of becoming a triathlete or an adventurous hiker. Superhero parents inspire us all, so if your pursuits include your children, let that cape fly!
Join forces with fellow enthusiasts or find a supportive community online. Whatever your passion, there’s a treasure trove of people out there who share your interests. Remember those high school sports you loved? Chances are, there are adult leagues nearby, just waiting for you to join.
Only you know what ignites your spirit, and only you can prioritize time for it. Consider creating a superhero outfit, even if it’s just for you. Beyond your daily responsibilities lies a world of possibilities waiting for you to explore. So, embrace the superhero within you and make it a reality.
But let’s not refer to this pursuit of joy as merely a “hobby.” Think of it as “being alive.”
In summary, discovering and embracing your own superhero identity can enrich your life and allow you to reconnect with your passions. Whether it’s music, art, or any other pursuit, carving out time for what you love is essential.
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