Updated: December 17, 2020
Originally Published: June 23, 2016
As a parent, my to-do list often feels endless, with the bulk of my tasks revolving around my children. I serve in various roles: chauffeur, housekeeper, therapist, and pediatrician, among others. However, one title I refuse to adopt is “short-order cook.” With everything else I manage daily, I simply don’t have the time or energy for that.
When it comes to meals—be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner—I embrace a straightforward “eat-it-or-go-hungry” approach. Of course, I’d make exceptions for any special dietary needs or sensory issues, but my kids don’t have those. If they refuse the meal I’ve prepared, it’s just pickiness, something I don’t cater to. They are well aware of the one non-negotiable rule: they can turn their noses up at my cooking, but if they do, they’ll be left feeling hungry—plain and simple.
I believe my children are lucky to have a mother dedicated to cooking for them, providing a diverse array of nutritious options. If I’m putting in the effort to plan meals and cook, they will certainly try what’s been served. At our table, there’s no pushing aside the plate without partaking in what I call a “no-thank-you taste”—a single bite of everything in front of them. Usually, that one bite is enough to dispel any doubts about the dish’s palatability, even if they initially describe it using terms like “gross” or “weird.”
Every parent knows that during the early years, mealtime often revolves around your children, leaving your own dinner to languish as you cut their food, pour their drinks, and fetch additional servings. By the time you finally sit down, your own meal is cold and uninviting. I refuse to add to that by preparing separate meals for each child. Why should I let my carefully cooked dish become unappetizing while I cater to their whims? No, thank you.
Surprisingly, this eat-it-or-go-hungry rule significantly reduces picky eating. Sure, my kids have their dislikes—everyone does—but by limiting their choices to what I serve, they are often encouraged to try and even enjoy foods they would have previously dismissed without a taste. My children have discovered a love for tofu, calamari, curry, and even broccoli. And if they don’t? Well, there’s always the next meal—hopefully something they’ll find more appealing.
Though it may sound tough, there’s no real starvation under the eat-it-or-go-hungry guideline. Kids will eat when they’re truly hungry, and they’ll accept what’s on offer if it’s their only option. No one is going to starve because you didn’t make chicken nuggets when little Emma shunned her pork chop. It’s about establishing boundaries, and as the parent, you’re in charge.
To foster healthy eating habits, ensure your child comes to the table with an appetite. Involve them in meal planning—let them choose veggies or help prepare the food. Discover creative ways to sneak nutrients into familiar dishes, like adding pureed carrots to mac and cheese. If they still refuse to eat, consider giving them a multivitamin or nutritional shake (just not right before dinner). I’ve yet to meet anyone who grew up malnourished because their parents utilized the eat-it-or-go-hungry philosophy. Instead, these children become adults comfortable with trying new things at the table and beyond.
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s approach to managing mealtimes with children, advocating a straightforward “eat-it-or-go-hungry” policy to combat pickiness and encourage healthy eating habits. By promoting involvement in meal preparation and establishing firm boundaries, parents can help their children develop a taste for various foods.