Before I became a parent, I was adamant that I would never deceive my children. My philosophy revolved around instilling values like honesty and resilience. How could I expect them to trust me if I was dishonest? Surely, lying would lead them down a dark path! This mindset persisted even when my twins were infants, during a phase when I was strictly anti-TV and sugar. Fast forward to today, with two lively almost-three-year-olds, and my perspective has shifted dramatically. Television has turned into my trusted partner, and I will not hesitate to offer bribes of chocolate chips or animal crackers.
And yes, I tell them little fibs. (No guilt here.)
I’m fully aware that this isn’t the ideal parenting approach. Yet, once I recognized how a few harmless lies could simplify life with two spirited toddlers, I couldn’t resist the temptation. Here are some of my favorite tactics:
1. It’s Broken
A classic! When your enthusiasm for yet another episode of your favorite show clashes with my attempts to get us out the door, I simply declare the TV is broken. Want to press buttons on the cordless phone? Oops, it’s broken too. Thinking of climbing to the sink for a water splash party? Sorry, the faucet is broken. On days when I’m frazzled and counting the minutes until bedtime, a lot of things in our home suddenly seem to malfunction.
2. It’s Coffee
Coffee is non-negotiable in my life. My twins quickly grasped that coffee is for grown-ups and is hot—rules they accepted without fuss. So, I cleverly label anything I don’t want them to drink as “coffee.” Iced tea? Coffee. Diet Coke? Coffee. Even wine falls under the “coffee” category. Sure, someday they’ll realize I can’t possibly consume this much coffee, but for now, it works wonders.
3. I’m Working
As a writer working from home, I often find myself on my laptop. Initially, my spouse explained to the kids that I couldn’t be disturbed because I was working, which they accepted. However, I also use my computer for browsing Facebook or catching up on the latest celebrity gossip—activities I consider essential for my sanity. Now, whenever my daughter sees me at the computer, she asks, “You’re working, Mom?” Absolutely! Just give me five more minutes for my “important work.”
4. The Dog Wants You To
Having a dog is a huge win for my toddlers. The family pet holds unexpected sway in our household, and since I’m the one taking care of her, I figured she could help me out a little. “Penny wants to tuck you in for a nap!” or “Penny thinks you should go back to bed because it’s too early!” are phrases that usually get them moving, even if Penny doesn’t quite agree with the last one.
5. It’s Medicine
My kids have recently developed a strong aversion to medicine, an exhausting challenge. But I’ve turned this around to my advantage. That box that looks like cookies? It’s actually medicine. That $6 fudge I bought in a moment of weakness? Yep, medicine too. (Funny how that helps with my own stress.)
I know that these little fibs don’t exactly earn me a “Parent of the Year” award, but I don’t feel a twinge of guilt. Parenting can be challenging, and sometimes, you need to do what it takes to survive the day.
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of parenting toddlers often calls for creative solutions. From declaring household items “broken” to employing the family dog as an ally, parents sometimes resort to harmless lies to maintain sanity. While these tactics may raise eyebrows, they serve a purpose in the chaotic world of toddlerhood. Ultimately, it’s about finding what works to thrive each day.