Do you remember those childhood days when we dreamed of being mothers? When we would stuff pillows under our shirts and play house with our dolls? For many of us, nurturing and caring for little ones seemed like a natural extension of our identity. But here we are, in the throes of real motherhood, navigating this new reality and often questioning if we’re doing it right.
Before I tied the knot with my partner Alex, I was certain that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. With little resistance from him, we welcomed two kids into our lives, and I set out to embody the ideal homemaker—cooking, cleaning, and raising our children while seeking personal fulfillment. However, I quickly realized that I hadn’t done much research about this demanding role.
Most professions come with a manual or a supervisor to guide you, but as stay-at-home moms, we’re left to figure things out on our own. We attempt to create routines and schedules, yet our little ones often have other plans. They seem blissfully unaware of our desire for a few quiet moments or a break from the chaos.
It can be disheartening to toil without recognition. In traditional jobs, we receive accolades or bonuses for our hard work, but babies are notoriously infrequent in their praises. We spend countless hours breastfeeding, soothing, and juggling the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood, all while our physical appearances change post-baby. We might take our kids on outings or engage them in learning activities, but sometimes it feels like no one notices our efforts.
While staying at home is a privilege, I often felt caught in a web of joy and isolation. Many days, I felt like I had accomplished a lot, yet at the same time, nothing at all. I was surrounded by little ones, yet felt starved for adult conversation. I’d often find myself watching the clock, waiting for the sound of my husband Alex coming home from work.
Once, I would greet him with excitement, but as time went on, he became just another set of hands for nighttime routines. Though he is a wonderful co-parent, I began to feel the weight of child-rearing unevenly distributed between us. It wasn’t his fault, but I found myself grappling with envy over his quiet drives home or leisurely lunches devoid of toddler interruptions.
But isn’t this what I wanted? I made this choice, which led to feelings of guilt. I have the privilege to stay home with my children—a luxury many don’t have—but no one warned me that parenting is one of the most challenging jobs out there.
So to all my fellow stay-at-home moms, I want to remind you:
I see you.
I recognize the immense effort you put into raising your children. This is the hardest work, often the least appreciated. You were chosen for this role from the start, and you didn’t even need to apply; you were inherently qualified. Even when you feel like you’re falling short—whether it’s too much screen time or too many takeout meals—understand that you are doing the work of superheroes. Your children see your dedication, even if they can’t articulate it yet, so let me say it for you:
You are a great mom.
You are a selfless, nurturing mom. You are dedicating precious years of your life to ensure another human thrives. Even on the mundane days, you are crafting memories. You provide the stability that every child needs. You’re teaching them resilience by showing them that while every day may not be perfect, it’s okay to keep trying.
You are a chef, a driver, an organizer, a communicator, a housekeeper, a counselor, a development specialist, a nurse, and a friend. You work for the most rewarding employer: your child.
While it’s impossible to relish every moment (what job has no challenges?), know that one day you’ll look back and reclaim parts of your life. Your meals will be warm, your clothes unstained, and the time you invested in nurturing your child will be recognized.
So, stay-at-home mom, know that I see your hard work. Watch your child smile, and remember it’s all worth it.
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In summary, being a stay-at-home mom is a challenging and often underappreciated role, but it comes with immense rewards and is a labor of love that shapes the future.