Congratulations on welcoming your new little one! While you might be overwhelmed with joy, prepare yourself for some truths about motherhood that no one seems to share. You’ll hear plenty of advice, but much of it is self-serving or grandiose. The real scoop, however, is often kept under wraps to spare us all from the reality of parenting.
Your Baby Might Not Be the Cherubic Angel You Envision
You may think, “My child will arrive looking like a model from a baby food ad!” In reality, newborns often come out looking like little potatoes with odd-shaped heads and skinny limbs. Don’t worry; those mommy hormones will make you see beauty in your little gnome-like creature, but the rest of us will just smile and nod.
Everyone Has Their Own Agenda
Everyone around you has their own agenda when sharing advice. They’ll insist on breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or combo-feeding, but their recommendations are often more about making themselves feel superior. The same goes for co-sleeping, introducing solids, and swaddling techniques. Just nod and smile; you can always roll your eyes later. For tips on managing this phase, be sure to check out resources like CDC’s guide for pregnancy.
Your Baby’s Astonishing Bodily Functions
Your baby will be capable of some astonishing bodily functions. Expect them to produce gas that would put a grown man to shame. You may be awed by the sounds coming from such a tiny creature—don’t fret, it’s normal!
Pro Tip: Always Carry Baby Wipes
Always carry baby wipes. They will become your trusty sidekicks for everything from cleaning your baby’s face to the occasional clean-up of your own messes. You’ll be surprised at how versatile they are!
Consider Thrifting for Baby Clothing
When it comes to baby clothing, consider thrifting. Those pricey outfits will only end up soiled, and your baby will grow out of them before you know it. Save that money for their future!
You Will Find Yourself Sucking Snot
And yes, you will find yourself in the position of having to suck snot. You might have sworn it off, but when your baby can’t breathe, you’ll reluctantly reach for that Nosefrida. It’s surprisingly satisfying, even if you don’t want to admit it.
Swaddling: A Skill That Eludes Many
Swaddling? It’s a skill that seems to elude many new parents. If your attempts result in a tangled mess, leave it to the dads or invest in pre-made swaddles. They’re a lifesaver.
Your Baby Will Demand to Be Held Constantly
Get ready for your little one to demand to be held constantly. Babies thrive on human contact and will let the world know if they’re not being cradled. You may find a designated baby holder becomes essential just to maintain your sanity.
Be Prepared for Your Physical State
As for your physical state, be prepared. You’ll feel like a walking, leaking cliché, with milk dribbling and blood flowing in ways you never anticipated. Yoga pants will become your best friend, and a shower may feel like a luxury you can’t afford.
Find Your Tribe
Navigating the world of motherhood can feel as competitive as high school cliques. Find your tribe among other moms who seem relatable; they’ll provide support when you need it most.
You Haven’t Broken Your Baby
Rest assured, you haven’t broken your baby if something goes awry. The umbilical cord may look alarming, or you may have a close call with a fall, but it will be fine. By the time you have your third child, you may be doing much crazier things just to get through.
Embrace Every Moment
In summary, the reality of new parenthood is filled with surprises—mostly involving poop, noise, and a lot of love. Expect the unexpected and embrace every moment, even the messy ones. For more on preparing for parenthood, check out our post about fertility boosts for men and consider incorporating some desk yoga into your routine for stress relief.