A few weeks ago, my partner and I spent an eventful morning at a school carnival, chasing our kids around the various activities. As the hours passed and my patience thinned, I decided to take a breather and check my Twitter feed. Of course, that was the moment I ran into one of my children’s teachers.
She kindly took my phone, shook her head, and whispered “tsk, tsk,” gesturing towards the kids I should have been watching. Embarrassed, I tucked my phone away for the rest of the day, trying to engage with my children while they happily played with their friends, blissfully unaware of my presence.
I pushed the encounter from my mind until I stumbled upon a post titled “Dear Mom on the iPhone.” It begins with an observation of a mother sitting on a bench, absorbed in her phone while her child twirls nearby. The narrative continues to describe the precious moments slipping away while mothers are distracted by their devices, suggesting that such behavior is selfish and detrimental.
But I am that mom at the park, and I refuse to accept the judgment that comes with it. Whether at the park or an indoor play area, I often find myself on my phone when my kids are entertained nearby. This doesn’t make me a bad parent; in fact, I argue it can make me a better one.
Engaging with social media allows me to decompress and keep my sense of humor intact amidst parenting chaos. The laughs shared with friends online can turn what could be a frustrating moment into a lighthearted experience. It’s like the modern-day equivalent of a much-needed smoke break.
As someone who works from home, I often have to juggle tasks between parenting and professional obligations. I cherish the flexibility to drop my kids off at school and be there when the bell rings. If that means responding to emails while they’re busy at the park, so be it. It’s far better than opting for a traditional office job and leaving them with a nanny all day. Plus, when I allow myself a moment of distraction, I’m more present when we’re home together.
Sometimes, I use my phone to avoid engaging with judgmental parents who might find fault in my parenting choices. I don’t claim to be the perfect mother; I have my highs and lows, often within the same breath. My goals are simple: to ensure my children feel loved and to have more proud moments than regrettable ones. Expecting unyielding attention on my kids 24/7 would only add stress to our lives.
It’s amusing how a fleeting moment captured at the park or elsewhere doesn’t tell the full story of a family. No parent can maintain constant vigilance over their children, nor should they.
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In summary, being a parent is a mix of moments both good and bad. Using technology doesn’t diminish my love for my children; instead, it can provide a much-needed respite. Let’s celebrate the imperfect journey of motherhood instead of judging each other for a single moment.