Oh, I see you sulking in that pile, all wrinkled and creased. This is your way of protesting, isn’t it? Because I left you all crumpled in the dryer longer than you would like? You’re feeling a bit salty because I had a million other things to juggle while you just sat there, getting all wrinkly to deliver a lesson. Well, here’s the truth — you might just have to remain wrinkled. If I can’t manage to transfer you from the dryer to your drawer in a timely manner, there’s almost no chance of you getting ironed anytime soon. So really, you’re only making things worse for yourself.
And let’s be honest, that’s what those extra fluff cycles are for.
While we’re at it, let me just say: you’re driving me up the wall. Your demands to be washed and dried daily are a bit much. Newsflash — there are days when I can barely manage to wash and dry myself! If you don’t get the attention you crave, you resort to all sorts of petty tactics, multiplying in size and emitting an odor that could make Febreze want to retreat back into the bottle. If you think you need to stink up the place to catch my attention, think again — you don’t need to assault my senses to get noticed.
How could I possibly miss you? You transform from a few towels and a couple of shirts into a mountain of chaos in no time. Sure, Laundry, I recognize that you keep my family dressed, and that’s essential. But that hardly justifies your relentless takeover attempts or those psychological games you play. You know I’ll eventually have to give in to your nagging, so you just keep pushing, spreading yourself across my bedroom floor, creeping into the hallway, and piling up on the couch. You tease me, taunting me with thoughts like, “Am I really dirty? Do you want to wash me again? Guess you’ll have to sniff to find out.”
To make matters worse — as if I needed more reasons to resent you — you have this knack for reappearing at the most inconvenient times. Just when I think I’ve finally caught up, I close the bathroom door or peek under the bed and there you are: a stray sock, some undergarments, or an entire outfit I missed because apparently, it’s too challenging for my family to put things in the dang hamper.
Now that I think about it, this must be a conspiracy. You’re likely in cahoots with the other messy little monsters in my life — the kids and the pets. I can just hear you whispering to them, “Hey, cat…why not throw up on me? Then she’ll have no choice but to toss me into the wash!” And then you all cackle together in a tone only your little crew can hear.
Let me be clear: while I may be at your mercy for now, someday — by the time the kids are grown — you won’t have the power to overwhelm me. Just remember that.
Sincerely,
Jenna
P.S. If you’re interested in more helpful insights about fertility and parenting, be sure to check out our post on navigating your fertility journey here. For detailed information on baby arrival timelines, you can visit this site, they are an authority on due dates. Also, don’t miss out on this podcast from the Cleveland Clinic, which offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination here.
In summary, Laundry, your antics are getting old. I see you, I acknowledge you, and I’ll deal with you when I can — but you’re not going to win this battle.