I love you all immensely, and I’m willing to do just about anything for you. Think about all those hours I’ve dedicated to your care, even when it meant dealing with some pretty messy situations (yes, that one time with the explosive diarrhea was a real challenge). There’s at least one of you (not naming names) who still needs a little help after using the toilet.
Speaking of which, I take great pride in keeping our bathroom clean and tidy. You might not appreciate it, but a spotless bathroom is often overlooked, only noticed when it’s not. As much as I cherish looking after you and our shared space, love is a two-way street, and it’s time for you to step up your bathroom etiquette game.
Here’s a straightforward list of expectations that kicks in today (and yes, Mr. Partner, you should probably pay attention to this too):
- Toilet Paper Belongs on the Holder
You boys are clever, so I don’t understand why the toilet paper always ends up as a soggy mess on the floor. It’s simple: there’s a designated holder for a reason. Use it! - Check for Stray Drops of Pee
Every time one of you uses the bathroom, I find little drops of pee on the seat or floor. When I ask about it, you claim you didn’t see them. Seriously, open your eyes! Pee is yellow and has a distinct smell, especially after it’s been sitting there for a while. Clean it up or, better yet, aim properly. - Flush the Toilet
I know one of you says the flush of our heavy-duty toilet is scary, but come on! You play video games with much louder sounds. I really don’t understand how someone can leave a huge mess after using the toilet. It’s just not right! - Toilet Paper Doesn’t Replace Itself
Isn’t it nice to have a bathroom stocked with fresh toilet paper? How do you think it gets there? It’s not a marathon to grab a new roll from the cabinet. Just do it once in a while, please! - Close the Lid
Did you know flushing with the lid up sends germs and bacteria flying everywhere? The toilet was designed with a lid for a good reason. - The Bathroom is Not Your Sanctuary
I understand that for some of you, sitting on the toilet is a moment of peace, but we only have one bathroom. Not everyone can wait an hour for you to contemplate life. Do your thing and let others have a turn! - Wash Your Hands Properly
Just running your hands under the faucet for a couple of seconds doesn’t cut it. Lather up with soap, scrub thoroughly, and sing a tune if you need to! We don’t need any extra germs around here. - Use Air Freshener
Let’s be honest: your bathroom visits don’t always smell like roses. A little air freshener goes a long way!
I feel better having shared these expectations, and with this handy list, I trust you’ll help me out, right?
And one last thing: when your favorite female in the house is in the bathroom, especially when the door is closed and she says, “I’ll be just a minute,” please just let her have some quiet time. Honestly, you can do a half-hearted job with most of these rules if you just allow your mother to have a peaceful moment. Let’s make that our New Year’s resolution, shall we?
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Summary: In this humorous yet straightforward letter, a mom lays down the law about bathroom etiquette for her kids. She emphasizes the importance of flushing, cleaning up, and respecting shared spaces while maintaining a light-hearted tone. The message is clear: love is a two-way street, and everyone should contribute to a clean and pleasant bathroom experience.