I can already envision how our interview will unfold. You’ll sit across from me, scrutinizing my resume, and with pen poised, you’ll delve into my extensive 11-year career in finance, as well as my academic qualifications and professional certifications. The years from 1999 to 2013 will be well-documented and clear. Then, your gaze will land on the conspicuous gap in the “Work Experience” section following 2013, and there will be a moment of silence.
From your perspective, I was once a driven professional climbing the corporate ladder, only to have “opted out,” a term popularized by Lisa Belkin in 2003. I seemingly abandoned my ambitions to raise my children, and now I face the challenge of re-entering the Fortune 500 world I once navigated with ease in tailored suits and heels.
While the challenge is very real, the story is overly simplistic. The societal perception of stay-at-home parents is outdated. Our views often hark back to 1950s television portrayals, conjuring images of women in house dresses, lounging while indulging in treats and watching daytime dramas. In truth, I spent more time in front of the TV and aimlessly browsing the internet while employed full-time than I do now.
It’s crucial that we reshape our understanding of the contributions made by stay-at-home parents. It won’t change unless you ask me about it. I’m not suggesting you pose the question, “What do you do all day?” with an incredulous look. That question irks me almost as much as the assumption that my response would be “Nothing.”
Instead, you could simply ask if I would like to discuss my recent years. This would provide me the opportunity to explain how caring for three young boys and managing a household is highly relevant to the workplace.
If you open the floor for this discussion, I’ll gladly share my insights. First, I’ll clarify that being a stay-at-home parent hasn’t left me in an information vacuum. The Internet and the relentless news cycle have kept me informed about market trends. I may not have a Bloomberg terminal at my disposal, but I am more than capable of engaging in relevant conversations or debates.
Moreover, managing a household entails budgeting, hiring help, and occasionally making the tough call to let someone go. It involves mediating disputes where both parties are unreasonable, multitasking, and crafting innovative solutions. And let’s not overlook negotiation skills; dealing with my spirited 8-year-old requires negotiation expertise that rivals any corporate deal I’ve handled.
The misconception around parents in the workplace often focuses solely on their absences due to childcare, painting parenting as a liability. However, there’s an alternative narrative. My observations from my previous job indicated that parents are often more empathetic, patient, and strategic thinkers. They tend to work more efficiently, minimizing wasted time and resources.
Additionally, the countless hours stay-at-home parents dedicate to fundraising for schools, organizing events like auctions and carnivals, managing the PTO, and coaching teams is staggering. These efforts often go unnoticed and unrecorded on a resume but are vital contributions involving networking, vendor management, and administrative skills.
During my time at home, I have engaged in many such activities. Yet, if you view my absence from the office merely as a gap to be filled, you miss the reality that this period has involved significant hard work and skill development relevant to the position I am seeking with you. You will never grasp this unless you take the initiative to ask.
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In summary, I encourage you to view my work gap not as a detriment, but as a period of growth and valuable experience that can contribute positively to your organization.