Why I Blog…
Evelyn writes in her journal nearly every day, and her reflections are far more profound than mine ever were at her age. When I stumbled upon my third-grade diary, I found entries that mostly read, “Dear Dairy, we had peas at lunch again,” or “Dear Dairy, Thomas Smith likes me,” or “Dear Dairy, my brother is such a brat.” Yes, I miswrote ‘diary’ all year, which makes it hard to believe I could share my innermost secrets while addressing a dairy!
While I respect Evelyn’s privacy and she doesn’t delve into my blog, she recently asked me why I choose to share my thoughts online instead of keeping a personal journal like I did when I was younger. It struck me as a thought-provoking question because, back in our youth, our diaries were sacred and carefully guarded. They were locked away, with the keys safely around our necks, and those cherished words hidden beneath pillows or deep in drawers behind closed doors.
Now, however, our words are out there for everyone to see. It feels strange to think of my writing in that light. Yet, I don’t truly expose my most private thoughts on my blog; they remain tucked away in my heart, secured by my own secret key. My blog isn’t my diary. It’s just my blog.
With any form of writing, there are times when you just need to step back. I recall months filled with blank pages in my childhood diaries. I don’t want my children to revisit my blog someday and question why I was silent during certain periods. Life was happening, but sometimes I was too busy, the words eluded me, or I simply didn’t want to write about the sad stuff.
And yes, there are days when I want to delete everything and walk away. But in answering Evelyn’s question, here’s why I blog:
- I want to preserve the memories of your childhood. I won’t take the time to print photos or fill out your baby books, nor will I create elaborate scrapbooks. This blog, along with countless pictures I’ve taken, will be what you have to look back on someday.
- Sometimes, I feel isolated in motherhood. No one prepares you for the loneliness that can come with it. Writing allows me to express myself— even if it’s just to me— and gives me a sense of connection.
- There are incredible individuals out there whom I can connect with online. Blogging and social media have helped me form friendships that may last a lifetime.
- I want you to understand that I’m more than just your mom. I’m not the best at storytelling verbally, and I don’t want you to wake up in your 40s wondering who I really was. Just read my blog, and you’ll know me better. I have so many unanswered questions about my own grandmother, and I don’t want you to experience that regret.
- I want to remember everything, and if I don’t write it down, I fear it will slip away. It’s the little moments that matter, like when last night Esther was playing rock-paper-scissors with the cat. I want to remember that.
- Sometimes you might not laugh at my jokes, but perhaps someone else will appreciate them. It’s worth a shot to share with a wider audience.
- I genuinely enjoy writing. It brings me joy and clarity, and I wish to keep that ability for as long as I can. I want to be able to write until my final day.
Love you both,
Mom
P.S. You might want to think about starting a blog yourself. Trust me—there will be plenty of my advice you might ignore, but this one? I hope it resonates with you.
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In summary, blogging is my way of capturing the essence of our lives, sharing my experiences, and connecting with others, all while preserving memories for you both.