As you step into the world of relationships with young men, it’s essential to understand that the journey of dating can be both thrilling and complex. You’ll find yourself spending considerable time and energy figuring out what you truly seek in a partner. Throughout this process, you will encounter numerous young men who are drawn to both your inner and outer beauty, and some may even seem like potential life partners.
Now that we find ourselves at this point (I can hardly believe how quickly time has flown!), it’s crucial for you to grasp the important distinction between a “nice guy” and a “good man.”
Back in my college days, I had a friend named Jessica who became seriously involved with a guy—let’s call him Adam. Adam had a gentle nature, a charming presence, and was known for his thoughtful gestures, like giving Jessica small gifts. They shared delightful dates filled with laughter and joy. He often told her she was everything he desired in a partner.
However, Adam also had a troubling side. He could be quite unfaithful, leading Jessica on only to let her down repeatedly. After a disagreement, he would often go out, drink excessively, and end up in compromising situations with other girls. The next day, he would turn on the charm again, apologizing and promising change, only for the cycle to repeat itself.
To many, Adam appeared to be a “nice guy,” but he was far from being a good man.
Many women, including Jessica, are often drawn to “nice guys.” They’re charming and fun to be around, good at conversation, and make fantastic first impressions. They know how to use their boyish charm to portray themselves as good men, even if their actions tell a different story.
As you navigate through life, remember that not all nice guys are genuinely good men. It can be challenging to discern between the two initially, so take your time to understand someone’s true character before committing. The more nice guys and good men you encounter, the easier it will become to recognize the difference.
A nice guy might have the right words to win you over, but a good man will consistently show you that he’s worthy of your affection.
- A nice guy will make you laugh, but a good man will ensure you don’t cry.
- While a nice guy may call you beautiful, a good man will help you celebrate and express your inner beauty.
- A nice guy might hold the door for you, but a good man will support you through life’s challenges, from caring for you when you’re unwell to holding your hand during tough times.
- A nice guy may lend you his jacket, but a good man will dedicate his time and energy to your dreams.
- A nice guy might walk you to your car, but a good man will stand by you as you build a life together.
- A nice guy will tell you he loves you, but a good man will back that up with actions that show his love consistently.
- A nice guy will make you feel wanted today, but a good man will ensure you know you’re cherished for a lifetime.
Had Jessica chosen to marry Adam—who did propose—it would have been a huge mistake. When she sought my advice, I was honest: nice guys are not always good men. It’s essential to ensure that any man you’re considering for a serious relationship is not only nice but also genuinely good.
As you reflect on your feelings for someone, consider whether he has consistently demonstrated responsibility, honesty, kindness, and integrity. Or is he merely charming and fun without backing it up with meaningful actions?
It’s all too easy to be swept away by nice guys—believe me, I’ve been there, and I think most women can relate. When you start looking for a partner, focus on finding a good man instead of just settling for a nice guy.
There are plenty of good men out there, I promise.
Love,
Mom
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In summary, as you embark on your dating journey, remember the difference between a nice guy and a good man. Choose wisely and look for those who prove their worth through their actions.