As a parent, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and doubt my abilities. Some days, exhaustion makes it hard to string together coherent thoughts. I find myself too drained to engage with you, my patience often wearing thin. At times, I feel like I spend my days just issuing commands: Finish your breakfast! Pick up those socks! Be kind to your brother! Stop throwing toilet paper in the sink! Your sleeve is not a tissue! And for the love of all that is good, please aim for the toilet!
As each day ends, I reflect: Am I giving you a wonderful childhood? Are there enough joyful moments? What will you carry with you about your life and your mom? Will you see me as just someone who fed you, managed your schedules, and wiped your noses—or will you remember me as a source of joy, filled with interesting ideas, fun, and kindness?
I believe you will recall a mix of everything. I remember my own childhood in the same way—yes, there were arguments, tears, and worries, but also moments of pure joy and connection. I aspire to create those beautiful memories for you.
I want you to see me not just as your mom, but as a woman—imperfect, yet full of love and warmth. I know I have many years ahead with you, and I cherish the thought of what you will remember from this time.
What I Hope You Will Remember
So, my dear children, here’s what I hope you will keep in your hearts about your mom:
- I want you to remember those nights when I claimed I was too tired for anything fun, yet suddenly we found ourselves bundled up in coats over pajamas, strolling to the corner deli for bags of M&M’s, sitting on the stoop, indulging in sweets while soaking up the magic of the night.
- Remember how I cradled you when you were sick, rocking you gently while singing “This Little Light of Mine” in my off-key voice, drifting you off to sleep against my heart.
- I hope you remember that no matter how scared you felt after a nightmare, my room was always open, and I’d hold your hand until you dozed off again.
- You might recall how I sometimes raised my voice over small matters, but I want you to remember that I always apologized if I lost my cool.
- Think of those nights when breakfast was pancakes for dinner, or when we had ice cream and French fries instead of a balanced meal. I hope you look back on those moments with fondness, rather than as shortcomings.
- I want you to remember me as the mom who paused to admire the moon and who got excited about a stunning sunset.
- I hope you see my wrinkles, my comfortable sweatshirts, and my unkempt hair as symbols of a mom’s love—natural and genuine.
- Remember me as an ordinary woman who was brave enough to share her truth.
- Know that everything I did was out of love, even when I made mistakes. I tried my hardest to ensure you felt safe and cherished.
While I cannot dictate the memories you’ll create, I hope I provide a foundation for authentic happiness amidst the chaos. I wish for you to see my flaws simply as parts of me trying my best to love you endlessly.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this post. It’s essential to navigate this journey with care, and resources like this one can provide valuable information, as can the CDC which offers excellent guidance on fertility.
In summary, cherish the moments of joy, love, and connection amidst the challenges of parenting.