After a long day of sixth grade, you burst through the door, eager to slip into your pajamas and indulge in some pizza—an enticing idea I cherish at 3 p.m. every day. As I watch you revel in laughter with your friends during sleepovers and sports events, I’m reminded of how important it is for you to cherish these moments for as long as possible.
As you continue through high school and into college, hold on tightly to your old friends while also welcoming new connections. Go on adventures, travel, stay up late sharing your dreams, comfort each other through heartbreak, and support one another amidst the stresses of work and life.
Most importantly, don’t rush into settling down, finding “the one,” or starting a family. There is no deadline for these milestones, and you should never feel pressured to meet expectations before you’re truly ready.
Before diving into a committed relationship, consider giving yourself the opportunity to live independently for a while. This is a valuable gift I hope you will embrace, even if you find love early on.
I’m not sharing this out of regret for my own choices, but because I experienced the transformative power of living alone. Before your father moved in with me, I enjoyed over three years of solitude. It was undeniably one of the best decisions I made for myself, and I look back on that time with fondness.
Living alone allows you to truly understand yourself and what you will or won’t accept in your life. The peace that comes with solitude makes it easier to recognize what aligns with your values and what doesn’t. You’ll learn to set boundaries and eliminate drama or toxic relationships from your life.
You’ll also discover essential life skills, like managing your finances. When you’re the one paying for your own car, for instance, you develop a newfound appreciation for your hard work. Opening a checking account solely in your name is empowering; you quickly learn the value of budgeting and prioritizing your wants and needs. You won’t have anyone else to rely on, which builds incredible strength.
While it’s okay to seek help—believe me, I did plenty of that—being on your own teaches you to tackle challenges, whether it’s calling for assistance or figuring things out at 2 a.m. on your own. Each small victory will reinforce your confidence and capabilities. You’ll realize that you can handle whatever life throws your way.
I genuinely hope you take this advice to heart. Living alone will be a decision you won’t regret, and I’d love to visit now and then to share some laughs and snacks with you, just like old times.
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In summary, living independently is a crucial experience that shapes your identity and confidence. Embrace it, and you’ll thank yourself later.