It’s no secret that children transform every aspect of life—including the dynamics of dating with your partner. Reflecting back, I can’t help but think that dating pre-kids felt more like a carefree party than anything else. My partner and I still carve out time for date nights, but they bear little resemblance to our wild nights out. Here’s a look at how date nights have evolved from our carefree days to now, as parents.
When We Go Out
Before Kids: Every night felt like a potential date night.
With Kids: Now, it’s more like once a month, if we’re lucky.
Getting Ready
Before Kids: I would take my sweet time, ensuring every detail was perfect—smooth legs, a stylish outfit with matching accessories, flawless makeup. I was ready to unwind for a bit before heading out.
With Kids: Getting ready now involves juggling dinner for the kids and bath time for two toddlers. I often miss half of my leg shaving and can’t locate my jewelry because it’s on my daughter. As I attempt to apply makeup, my daughter insists on using it too, leading to frantic searches for my brushes. I end up with an outfit that’s “good enough” and sneak out while the kids are entertained by Grammy.
Choosing a Destination
Before Kids: We’d debate endlessly about where to go. I’d feel like we’d exhausted every option, wishing for new dining experiences.
With Kids: Now, we have a definitive list of go-to restaurants, and early reservations are a must! If it’s not a planned date night, any opportunity that lets us escape for a meal without the kids is a win.
The Dinner Experience
Before Kids: We’d order drinks and dinner, enjoying every moment of peace. What bar would we hit up afterward?
With Kids: Dining feels like a royal treat. We savor every bite while nervously scanning for tiny hands reaching for our food. Conversations often drift to our kids, and we can’t help but smile at the chaos they’re likely causing at home.
After Dinner
Before Kids: We’d hit the bar, carefree and ready to dance the night away.
With Kids: Halfway through our drink, we start to worry about the kids. It’s amazing how quickly we transition from partying to pondering our parental duties, even if it’s only 10 p.m.
Returning Home
Before Kids: We’d stumble in around 3 or 4 a.m., stopping for late-night fast food and collapsing into bed without a care.
With Kids: We come home before midnight, feeling like we’ve been away forever. The kids may or may not be awake, and our 4-year-old is often curious about our evening escapades.
The Morning After
Before Kids: I’d wake up planning to enjoy a lazy day watching football, wings, and beer in hand.
With Kids: Now, I wake up feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck, wondering how I’m still tired after just a few drinks. But the day starts early with soccer practice for our daughter.
Maintaining a dating life is crucial for any marriage, though it certainly becomes more challenging with kids. While date nights may be less frequent, prioritizing them is essential. Sometimes, even a simple 20-minute car ride with sleeping kids in the back can feel like a cherished date.
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Summary:
Date nights evolve dramatically from life before kids to after. What once was a spontaneous adventure has turned into a carefully planned occasion, often filled with the challenges of parenting. Yet, the importance of maintaining that connection remains, even if it means redefining what a date night looks like.