I have a serious fondness for my Dansko clogs, and I’m not alone—many of my friends share the same enthusiasm. These shoes have gained immense popularity among a wide range of people: housewives, hipsters, chefs, nurses, teachers, and even A-list celebrities like Tina Fey and Jennifer Garner.
Comfort vs. Price
So, are they comfortable? Absolutely. The first moment I slipped on these clunky clouds of joy, I felt a boost in height and a dash of Scandinavian sophistication.
What about the price tag? Not so much. A typical pair of Danskos runs around $120. In my more financially carefree days, I treated myself to several pairs and even scored a gem at a thrift store—finding a pair of glossy Professionals for just $7.99 was nothing short of divine inspiration. With proper care (read: steering clear of fire and teething puppies), these shoes can last for years.
Not the Sexiest Option
But let’s get one thing straight: sexy, they are not. My ex-husband would often refer to them as “those clunky black shoes you wear.” They’re more akin to a modern version of the traditional Dutch wooden clog—definitely not strappy or sleek. These sturdy shoes allow you to stomp confidently through parking lots, grocery store aisles, and school hallways. If you want to make an entrance with a hefty clomp, Danskos are your ticket.
You could liken Danskos to the Volvo station wagon of footwear—practical and boxy, but well-crafted and favored by those who appreciate quality, even if it comes at a higher price. Plus, both Dansko and Volvo conveniently end with the letter “O.”
The Unspoken Truth
However, there’s an unspoken truth about Danskos that you won’t find on their website or hear from salespeople: they can be painful.
My first encounter with their treachery happened about seven years ago. At the time, I was navigating a divorce while still maintaining a cordial relationship with my soon-to-be ex-husband. One day, while wearing my trusty Danskos, I misstepped on my front porch and experienced what I now call “The Dansko Roll.” My left foot rolled awkwardly, resulting in a painful tumble down the stairs.
Despite the agony, I had a date that night with a guy I dubbed Frugal Fred, who bore a striking resemblance to Mr. Big but had a penchant for stingy tipping. I wasn’t about to let a swollen ankle ruin my evening, so I squeezed my injured foot into a pair of stylish black boots and hobbled through an AC/DC cover band performance, holding back tears when Fred leaned in for a goodnight kiss.
Love and Pain
Nevertheless, I continued to wear my Danskos. Over the years, I racked up a collection of close calls, trips, and stumbles. A close friend even broke her ankle while wearing Danskos, and many others have shared their own horror stories of twisted ankles and bruised feet. Yet, we persist in our love for these shoes.
Recently, in a fit of “Rage Cleaning,” I was hauling recycling down snowy steps in my Danskos when I slipped again. I landed hard at the bottom but managed to ice my foot with a bag of Trader Joe’s edamame beans and convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal. I even took the opportunity to chat with a few doctor friends, thinking that a little vodka wouldn’t hurt either.
However, as the day progressed, I realized I had indeed injured my foot. The next morning, my friend Sarah insisted on taking me to a local clinic specializing in orthopedic injuries—after I had done some much-needed grooming, of course. After several x-rays and a charming doctor examining my foot, I was sent home with a bulky boot.
When I shared my misadventures with a coworker, she glanced at my cumbersome “stormtrooper” foot and asked if I would be retiring my Danskos. I confidently replied, “Of course, I’ll keep wearing them!” as she chuckled, the sound of her own Danskos echoing in the hallway.
Embracing the Danskos
So, here I am, nursing my injury while still embracing my Danskos. Sure, they may hurt me, but at least I’ll be comfortable until the next mishap.
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In summary, Danskos are an essential yet paradoxical part of my life—both beloved and notorious for their ability to inflict harm, but they remain my go-to for comfort and practicality.