It’s no secret that dress codes in schools often lean toward being excessively sexist. A glance at any dress code policy typically reveals lengthy regulations for girls, while boys receive only a brief mention. But is it really necessary to cover the shoulders of a five-year-old simply because she wore a spaghetti strap dress?
When Mark Thompson picked up his five-year-old from school last week, he was taken aback to see her wearing a t-shirt over her sundress and jeans underneath. He had packed an extra outfit in case it got cold, but she was determined to wear her new sundress, so he relented.
The school district’s dress code explicitly prohibits spaghetti strap dresses, stating: “Students are not to wear clothing that is tight, loose, sagging, baggy, revealing, spaghetti-strap, backless, low cut or short.” However, Thompson didn’t expect such rules to be enforced on a child as young as five. In a blog post on the Houston Chronicle, he remarked, “Let’s be clear; every school dress code that isn’t a strict uniform focuses on policing girls and girls alone.” While some might argue that parents should adhere to the rules, Thompson raises a valid point: the dress code’s vagueness allows for subjective enforcement, which can lead to shaming young girls.
Highlights from the Dress Code
- Shorts and Skirts: Must fit at the waist or upper hip, cannot reveal undergarments, and should be mid-thigh or longer.
- Tops, Shirts, and Blouses: Must not expose undergarments, midsection, torso, back, chest, breasts, or cleavage.
- Dresses: Must meet the same criteria as tops, in addition to being mid-thigh or longer.
At first glance, these demands may seem reasonable, but they leave girls with very few options. For example, shirts that “must not reveal underclothing, midsection, torso, back, chest, breasts, or cleavage” leave almost no room for creativity. Are the only acceptable choices turtlenecks or high-neck tees? How many shirts can you find that don’t risk revealing a hint of back or the strap of a bra?
Having grown up as a girl who developed early, I can personally attest that the same outfit can look entirely different on different bodies. My childhood friend, with her slender frame and no bust, could wear the same dress and appear far more “modest” than I did. I’ve had curvy hips since childhood, which means clothes often fit me more snugly. Why are we teaching young girls to feel ashamed of their bodies in the first place? Why are we policing the shoulders of a five-year-old?
Thompson argues, “The obsession with policing a girl’s skin—whether it be shoulders or early physical development—often leads to discussions about her purity or even worse.” He’s not alone in this sentiment. Numerous incidents over the past year highlight this issue. For instance, nearly 200 girls received detention at a New Jersey high school without air conditioning for wearing tank tops after the dress code was altered. In another case, a Utah student was barred from attending a dance due to a dress that showed her shoulders. Similarly, 30 female students at a Canadian high school were sent home for displaying bra straps under their tank tops.
Thompson’s critique of a dress code that punishes our daughters for revealing the smallest parts of their bodies at such a young age is a call to action. We should all question why there’s such a need to regulate the way our daughters present themselves.
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In summary, the arbitrary enforcement of dress codes that disproportionately target young girls raises serious concerns about body shaming and societal expectations. We must reevaluate the messages we send to our daughters about their bodies and self-expression.